“Doing What Feels Good”- A Cop Out?

September 25, 2009 by Tia · 22 Comments
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention 

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I’m the first to admit I hardly ever do anything that doesn’t feel good.

In the past 10 years I’ve made some VERY inspired decisions based on how adventurous and new the experience was, rather than how much money I could make or how far up the corporate ladder I could advance.

I chose today over tomorrow. Not the most conventional way to live, I was subconsciously picking the most FUN path to follow over the one that would bring me the most “conventional success”.

Today, I’m more conscious of my actions as I check to see how I’m feeling before taking action, hardly ever doing anything unless it feels good to do.

Paradoxically, there are those times when I didn’t feel good about doing something and did it anyway.

You think I’m going to say I regret those times, right?

No.

Because some of those time that I did what didn’t feel good, turned out to bring results that made me feel SO glad I did.

And some of the times I did what ‘felt good’ turned out to be nothing more than procrastination and putting off the inevitable, wasting time and energy in the process. Eg: endlessly watching Scrubs re-runs online instead of working on my business plan for 2010, which would serve me in the long run.

Which brings me to state: There are times it’s actually a good thing to do what you’re not enthused about! Times when “doing what feels good” is a complete cop out that does more harm than good.

What if you decided you really wanted something, and you’d have to be disciplined about doing what it takes to get it but you hate being disciplined?

  • What if you cancelled on a concert at the last minute because you didn’t feel like getting dressed up, and then later regretted it when you heard how awesome it was?
  • Or you have bills to pay and you hate doing that. But if you didn’t your utilities would be cut off, so whether you feel good about doing it or not, you just have to do it.
  • Or you’re looking for a new job and have to work on your resume but you hate doing that. Would you find a creative way around it (like hiring a resume writer) or would you make yourself do it?

And what about the times you DID do something you didn’t want to and were GLAD that you went against that initial feeling?

  • Like when you didn’t want to go take that new course in school and it turned out to be your best decision ever?
  • Or you forced yourself to go out to that party and met your soulmate?
  • How about the time you were nice to someone you didn’t like and they ended up becoming your best friend?

I think it comes down to knowing the answer to:

When do you know you’re actually following your feel good or mistaking your comfort zone for it?

What if swallowing that frog was the one thing stopping you from getting what you want?

What if, to get what you want, you first have to do something you DON’T want to do?

There are times I’ve made myself do something I didn’t feel like doing (like go to the gym and lift weights) because it was what I thought I needed to do to get to my ultimate goal of getting toned the fastest way I could.

So by compromising my feel good in the moment, I’m honouring my bigger goal and that makes me happy when I’ve done it, even if I had to force myself to take action at first. Paradoxically, by taking action I don’t even have to wait until I’ve finished that action to feel good – the vibe changes just by doing it!

Do you change your mind cos it doesn’t feel good right now or do you keep your commitment inspite of that because you know you’ll feel better for it? How do you decide what course of action to follow?

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I’m just really curious to know how you balance doing what you aren’t aligned with in the moment, with the bigger picture that you ARE aligned with. How do you handle these tricky situations? I’d looking forward to your insights and thoughts! Thanks so much for sharing, as always.

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Guest Post: Writing Her Way Through “Someday”..

September 9, 2009 by Tia · 8 Comments
Filed under: Guest Posts, Inspired Action, Intention, Life, Passion 

Guest Post: Break Free from procrastinationGosh I’m excited! During our coaching session yesterday, Giselle, a writer, talked about how she overcame procrastination and seeing as I JUST recently did a teleclass on that, I had to ask if she would share her story.

I know it helps many of us to hear real life experiences so without further ado, in her own words, is the first ever Guest Blogger at Coach T.I.A.

Woohooo, thanks and welcome Giselle!

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On March 13th, 2009 I joined Twitter. Twelve days later I made a decision that altered my life significantly. I hired Tia as my life coach. When I look back, I truly had no idea as to the purpose of a coach.

I just knew that I was at a standstill and I needed to move forward.

In the six months we worked together, my personal concepts of self-love, my goals and my dependence on procrastination, took a 180-degree turn. Through our sessions I began to peel away my layers of denial and reason. I had a notebook full of reasons as to why I could not write.

 Mom
 Wife
 Walk the Dog
 Work full time
 Wash the dishes
 Vacuum
 Laundry
 Make dinner
 Eat
 Sleep

To the outside world I proclaimed to writing daily.

“I am a writer.”

Well Balderdash! I was not a writer.

Hmm, that statement should be clarified. In my mind I believed I was a writer, but that did not hold true in my heart.

The conviction that my love of writing should take a greater importance in my day-to-day life did not hold true for me. So I procrastinated.

Writing became a chore. Something I only found the ability to do when all else was complete. You can bet how often that happened. But my coach refused to let me hide behind my daily commitments. Over and over again she would ask, “What is important to you?” “What do you want?”

My response varied a bit in the beginning, but one statement held firm: “I want to be a writer. I want to earn a comfortable living through writing.” To which the response, “What do you need to do to accomplish this? “ Me: “Write.”

We investigated why I did not find time to write. It came down to this; I refused to acknowledge that my passion, writing, was necessary to my well-being.

I did not rate the need to write as important because I felt guilty in taking part in activity that was solely for me. She saw through my bravado and reasoning from the start and called me on it, which was a first for me. After a few sessions, we agreed on a regimen.

My mission if I chose to accept it, was to write for ten minutes each day. Such a small and simple step helped open my eyes. I re-discovered why I loved to write.

  • I became a monthly contributor to a site, which focuses on writers and writing.
  • My blog content improved as my follower count grew.
  • I stopped including my “ten minute” session in my daily task outline.
  • There was no longer a need. I found time to write. I valued my passion and myself.

Just so you know, I did not inherit a fairy godmother. My life remains hectic and filled with “must do”, “have to”, and “need to do” priorities, but I have learned the true value of prioritizing. I became very clear on what brought me joy. And I continued doing that each day, one step at a time.

I became limitless. I opened up to the countless opportunities the world had in store. My battle with procrastination ended, and I was the victor.

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About Giselle MacLean: I am the Managing Editor of BreakFree, a blog that passionately charts my personal challenges as a wife, mother and friend; while managing a career within the financial services industry. I offer detailed reviews on select novels, personal and professional how-to advice and I provide a wonderfully, exciting glimpse into the future Giselle.

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Back to Tia: Wow, that’s quite a journey! Many thanks to Giselle for sharing what worked for her as she focussed on her goals step by baby step. Have you had a similar experience? Would love to hear how YOU stayed on track and stopped procrastinating about something that was important to you. Thanks for sharing!

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On Fear, Beliefs & Action – Along with Tony Robbins & Friends

September 1, 2009 by Tia · 7 Comments
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, courage 

Why is it that you don’t take action when you need to?

If you’re a new entrepreneur/ coach/ student/ career changer/ learner etc, have you bought e-books, attended several workshops, subscribed to over 50 email lists, read blogs and articles every day, have pages and pages of action steps and business building ideas and other such stuff?

And are they just lying there, untouched?

You crack one open, get distracted, get overwhelmed, close it, go facebook or twitter and look for more information. So you can add it to your pile of things to do and read someday.

Are you identifying with this?

What stops you from believing in your dreams and / or taking action to get there?

When Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile – no one thought it was possible but he knew he could do it, and he did. Once done, within 2 years 37 other people had done it!

Does this mean those people couldn’t have done it sooner? Of course they could have.

But they didn’t dream that big.

They didn’t think it was possible until they saw someone else do it. When Andre Agassi was asked if he regretted having skipped Wimbledon for a few years, he said “Yes. You can’t win if you don’t play”.

It’s not just the abnormally talented athletes and celebrities who do it either.

When a local Vancouver man climbed the Grouse Grind (steep, crazy climb most people find a challenge to do even once) 13 times in one day, people were amazed. No one had done that before. Yet, within the week, a woman climber had done the same. And more have followed (or will follow soon).

Pure proof that as long as you think it can’t be done, it won’t.

And the day someone steps up to break a barrier, suddenly it becomes easier for other to do it too.

People are doing it every day. Breaking rules, self limiting beliefs and invisible barriers to blaze trails for the rest of us. What if you were one of them?

There are no limits to what we can achieve!

Don’t let this video be just another one you watch, forward and then move on to the next ‘answer to all your problems’. Use it to start believing you can do what you set your mind to do.

Stretch yourself beyond what you think it is possible!

Ps: This is a short 2 min clip. For the entire 38 minutes, click here to view.

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