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On Gratitude & Facing Fears
Don’t have much to say today except that I did a few things recently that I’m well proud of..
- Taking the time to express real gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in my life
- Facing a couple of huge fears
- Asking a stranger to record me talking on video
- Actually speaking on camera
- Putting it out there for the world to see .. yikes!
I was going to do it way back in Feb 2009 for the Hurricane of Gratitude group started by Alex Karis and it’s no surprise it took me 9 months to get here (many big changes / events seem to happen in my life 9 months after the first sign) the birth of creativity and courage, lol!
When was the last time YOU were truly, really grateful and appreciative of how GREAT you have it? What are you really proud of here and now?
If it’s been a while, stop right now and think about all that’s awesome in your life, gives you pleasure, joy and happiness.
From your body to your spirit, nature, family, warm home, food to eat, winter sports, your favourite cookies, you’ve got a lot more going for you than you may realise.
Especially in the middle of a “tough break”, when you feel like everything’s going wrong and you’re overwhelmed, stop and breathe.. And think about the wonderful experiences you’ve had so far and all that you’ve accomplished.
Dream about the changes you want, the life you want to live. And as you do, be grateful for all that you have right now.
The simple act of gratitude /appreciation will bring more of that to you.
I’ve been on a smiling high ever since I did this video. Even if you don’t want to make your own video, go ahead and use the gratitude muscle today!
I’d love you to share what you’re grateful for and proud of in the comments below. And if you make a video, PLEASE come back and post a link!!
And while we’re on the topic of gratitude, I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to talk about about facing your fears, courage, happiness, discovering your passion, making FUN a part of daily life, taking Inspired Action and much, much more in this interview I did for the Spiritual Explorer show recently.
It was a right BLAST and we laugh and giggle a lot as we share some real life experiences of gutsy people following their dreams.
Would love to know what you think of it! Have a great weekend 
A Confession – Why I REALLY Took a Time Out..
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Forgiveness, Inspired Action, Passion, courage
(I finished writing this post at 3am. Then, from 4am-5:30am, I rewrote it entirely. Here’s the unvarnished version cos you deserve the truth, not some hackneyed post glossing over the REAL stuff)
So ya’ll know how I decided Tuesday evening to take a 2 day “Time-Out” from the Internet, phone, people, work, action, plans, ideas, commitments etc?
When I said “If you listen closely to your intuition and all the signs around you, you will learn to trust (as I am), that this can only be good“?
I said I wanted to practice self care and spend time doing whatever appealed to me in the moment, something I thought would be a cinch seeing as I’m so good at doing what feels good. Well, that was 80% true.
Uh… the other 20%?
I lied.
By omission.
You see, I left out the reason why I wanted to do it.
The real truth is that I took that time out because I was getting carried away with seeking validation from external factors and it was starting to wear me out. There, I said it.
Can you say OBSESSION?
(And no, I’m not channeling Calvin Klein)
I’m talking about the insidious little devil called comparison. It’s bad enough to compare myself with others way ahead of me in terms of years and experience, but to constantly compare myself with myself too?
This ship was getting harder to steer and I was losing my peace of mind (pieces too).
*Deep Breath*
(Btw, It’s already feeling good to fess up, although I was jittery at the start – make that Day 31 of 100 days!)
My obsession with “social proof”, blog stats, twitter followers, facebook fans, alexa & google page ranks, creating a powerful and engaged community, numerics and other non-blog related life desires that I dated with “must have & do” by such and such time, was getting out of hand.
Those of you who blog know what I’m talking about, right? We can get so addicted to external manifestations of success that we lose sight of why we’re doing something. Sometimes, if #’s didn’t show an increase from the previous week or month, I’d feel like I wasn’t “doing enough”. And think of ways I could do better and be more authentic (recurring theme in my life).
The Irony!
Trying to be more authentic = one simply can’t be authentic. Because, as my favourite Yoda-ism goes: Do or Do Not, There Is No TRY. You are either authentic or you’re not. Period.
Ouch. I guess once you start being authentic, it doesn’t mean you will automatically carry on being. It requires constant awareness and “work”. Could that be cos authenticity requires vulnerability?
And being vulnerable is scary for the best of us?
I’d wager a yes.
When this blog went from 20 million to 510,000 within 3 months of me launching it, I was OVER the moon! Then I went travelling in July and it’s since dropped to about 1.3 million.
I hated going from nothing to something and sliding back to a little less something again (wow, get a LOAD of me – I hated it, really!? Hate?! Do I smell a little .. attachment here
?
We tend to overlook the progress we’ve made when we look at how far we still have to go.
I still want all that I do – to be the best in my field, super successful, happy, write great posts, work with amazing people, make a difference, get married, travel, grow roses, live my dream life..
Except now, I have more patience and compassion for myself. Like most of us, I’m the hardest on myself. Keeping up to my standards is exhausting.
Which brings us back to Tuesday. When I decided I had to make a stand for myself, against myself, to remind me of what’s really important. I.e.,
The passion and love I have for writing, self improvement, personal growth, coaching, having fun, connecting with people and living an inspired life.
(Which is why I started blogging in the first place. To share my experiences, inspire people AND learn from them. And attract a community of like minded peeps. And make great friends.. And..and..ok, ok)
Even during those 2 days, at 1st I tried to be ultra-productive as in: “I’d-better-do-some-good-introspective-work, figure-out-where-I-need-to-grow-and-learn-and-do-it, so-I-have-something-to-show for-this. So-that-when-I’ve-sorted-it-out, everything-will-just-come-to-me-easy-peasy-forever-n-ever”
(Oh my, I just can’t help laughing here! Even when I’m introspecting, I’m doing a number on myself!! That’s hilarious, right!!? Giggle! Snort! LOL!)
Day 1 was a bit of back and forth between wanting to be productive and just goofing off, till I took myself for a walk in the rain and ended up with fear-day #30.
Day 2 was a real laid back, watching movies and reading Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” kinda gig. That’s when it started to get good, real good.
So good that I’m going to share it with you. The edumacation I got when I decided to just be open to whatever showed up! Handpicked are Tolle’s simple and profound teachings that seemed to leap off the pages I was on …
- The mind holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, (which you experience as negativity or unhappiness in some form), will somehow dissolve the undesirable condition.
- But resistance leads to more of the same.
- The way to attain peace? Don’t look for it. Nothing you seek is outside of you. Don’t look for any other state than the one you are in now.
- When you completely accept the lack of what you seek, it gets transmuted into what you seek (this one really spoke to me – I reckon it’s where my intuition was leading me – ya THINK!?)
- The outer situation of your life is like a lake’s surface – calm, windy, rough according to seasons. Deep down, the lake is always undisturbed.
Because the truth is, I’m further along on my path than I’d ever imagined, I’m rocking this joint called life, I’m truly happy and successful, have an awesome community of friends and readers, love what I do, know some of the most amazing people ever, sparkle with good vibe energy, have big plans and live a good, simple life.
As Stuart Smalley says: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me! *wink*
Time-Out gave me a chance to embrace my blessings, an opportunity to practice extreme self care, insights into my patterns, face my ego-based fears, become aware of the attachment to externals, and taught me to not equate performance with popularity.
It also gave me lots of chocolate cake. Yes sirree, life is GOOD. Now where shall I send the comparison monster..
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If you actually read all the way through, send me your deets and I’ll send you over some Nutella! Boy I had a lot to say thanks for reading I won’t ask you any questions this time, feel free to share whatever pops up. Maybe let intuition guide you. I love you!
Tuesday Tip – Face One Fear Today!
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Life, Passion, Tuesday Tips, courage, happiness
When you first learned to walk, everyone loved and encouraged you! Smart baby, they said, you’ll be walking before you know it.
So you learned to celebrate “failure” as a stepping stone to success. It was the natural order of life.
As your grew up, you changed. You became a quivering mass of jelly. A creature of habit and comfort. Ok maybe I’m being a bit harsh but you know as well as I do, just how much you sell yourself short. Admit it!
So WHY are you so scared of failing? If you don’t know how to do something, you won’t even try cos you’re scared you’ll fail and others will laugh or say I told you so.
You’ll be rejected and heaven help you if that happens, cos it’s obviously the end of the road for you 
.
Well guess what – those who laugh or put you down are to be pitied, cos they are SO scared they won’t even try whereas you, YOU will take that chance and learn and grow from it, no matter what happens!
Now, Isn’t that something to rejoice about?
As I have been thinking about this post it has brought to my mind a very common misperception that I am ready to let go of ~ that we EITHER fail OR succeed.
You’re with me right? We really fail AND succeed at the same time. There is no failure when we make it a part of success!
“I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games; 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot…and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” — Michael Jordan, Basketball Player
I love that quote, it really helps put things in perspective. He (or someone else) also said you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
That’s one of the reasons I took on this 100 things I fear in 1oo days project, where I do one thing daily that scares me.
- From reaching out to connect with someone, to
- Asking for help,
- Hugging strangers in the middle of downtown Vancouver,
- Laying in the middle of a pavement for a few minutes in broad daylight,
- Following my instincts inspite of fear … and much more..
.. all in aid of stretching past my comfort zone and growing my strength and courage in the process. Learning that the only thing that matters is how I feel about myself. Learning not to let my insecurities and fears be in charge of me.
No matter what your beliefs, you only get ONE shot at THIS life you’re living today. As each day, month and year passes, do you realise just how precious this gift of life is? I find myself wanting to make the most of it, everyday.
Don’t want to wait till something awful happens for me to start cherishing this precious, precious gift. I want to be reminded of it all the time.
Don’t you agree, that to spend most of our lives in fear, never doing, saying or being what we want, is a gross waste of our time, talent and purpose on Earth?
Today, I’m asking YOU to do one thing that scares you, that you wouldn’t dream of doing for fear of rejection, loss, feeling silly or any other excuse you have. That’s all they are, excuses.
And to encourage you, I’m posting an 8 second video of me looking really self conscious, silly and giggly as I chant “free hugs, free hugs” to people passing by! It took me about 20 minutes to feel comfortable with it and within an hour I gave out over 50 hugs. It was an AMAZING experience!
One lady even stopped her car at the red traffic signal, ran out across the road, hugged my friend and ran back into her car. Unbelievable!
My favourite? The little 3 yr old who ran to me with arms outstretched and gave me at least 3 hugs.
Look at her gorgeous little face.. Aww!
Of course, there were those who scowled and tried to avoid us But you know what? That was all good too as it really reinforced the notion that “rejection isn’t personal” .
What a wonderfully empowering feeling THAT is.
To those who took a chance on a hug from a stranger, thank you for being so open to love and the human spirit!
If I can face my fear of being on camera, looking foolish, and posting a lopsided video that I couldn’t figure out how to straighten, imagine what ELSE I could do!?
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And YOU my friend, what are you not doing because you’re worried, scared, fearful or lack confidence? Share it with us, and then commit to doing it. We’re rooting for you all the way!!
I’m especially talking to those of you who read but feel like you have nothing to say – I’m telling you that you DO. So even if your act of courage is to write a comment that you always shy away from, do it now! Looking forward to hearing from you Thanks for being brave. You’re AWESOME.
Where Do You Draw The Line between Ego and Self?
Authenticity. Authenticity.
Also known as showing up fully.
This past month I’ve been living from ego rather than service. I let my authentic self be tarnished by feelings of competitiveness, living at 50% of myself, ignoring my values and not being fully present, real or honest with myself and others about my feelings and thoughts.
Nothing “bad” mind you – just restrictions everywhere I looked around. Life in this state is far from pure, joyous and happy. It can still be good but good isn’t enough for me anymore.
Who else feels they are sick of not expressing themselves fully?
Who else wants to shed their scales & emerge as they are?
Who else would like to live courageously & with integrity?
I for one am DONE with living an unauthentic life. With holding myself back for fear that I’ll be alone if no one wants to walk this path with me. With conforming and trying to look good (although those of you who know me may be giggling at the thought of me being a conformist hehe).
Since the last 2 days a lot has been stirring up for me (I learnt from Lynn Koiner and Sophie Lhoste that I’m not alone in this – apparently this summer solstice is a powerful time for changes and divine happenings – woohoo!) and I’m taking gulpy, brave steps to bring myself back from the edge of an ego-driven life, back to service, back to self.
Take the coaching competition I was entered in for instance. It all started as fun and games, asking people to vote for me, getting the word out about my blog, loving the traffic to my website, the supportive comments (esp the one from my mom – that rocked, thanks mum!) ·
Somewhere along the way though, I realised some uncoachlike behaviour was going on and allowed myself to be upset by the tricks other people were using to get to # 1. Everytime I saw people being voted down I would vote them up. And I’d wonder what I was doing in such a contest. Can you guess what happened next? Yep!
I wanted to play them at their own game. Survival of the best-est. And I didn’t like this feeling. That’s not me.
So yeah, it got to the point where I had to stop and question myself …. Why do I need someone to tell me my blog is the best? Would winning this contest make more people like me or make me special in some way? WHO gets to decide I’m the best (or not)? I’ve never liked competitions and in my LOA world, co-operation is a better feel-good place to be in over competition.
To compete fairly and test skills against another is beautiful, like athletes in their finest form. Because it brings the best out in others, rather than the worst. To bring others down while you go up? Not sooooooo much!
It started to not feel good anymore. And you who read this blog know this about me – I always follow my feel-good! If it’s not fun, I’m not doing it. I slacked in following my intuition. Ohh Bugggerr…
It’s scary and empowering to go out on a limb and saying what you need to, without fear of consequences. It’s easy for monkeys but to be a human hanging on the top of a branch, swinging wildly and suddenly letting go….!? Bump, rumble and roll. Ouch. That hurt. Pain sucks. Yet, letting go can teach you to look for where the growth and learning is.
To be authentic, I first had to acknowledge what I’ve not been wanting to, face my frailties and imperfections, embrace them, forgive them, love them and finally, share them with others.
So my friends, In all my ego driven glory, here I stand unveiled. And as I ask myself these questions, I ask you too:
Who do you think you are to live half a life?
One that’s not passionate, fulfilling, authentic and happy?
Where do you get off blaming other people?
What are you not taking responsibility for?
What is the learning from this?
What do you really, really want?
The glory or the peace? True happiness or ego-driven accolades?
Feel free to ask me “who are you to get me to stand up and take charge of my own life”!? I am no-one. And I am everyone. You get to choose if you want to or not.
With this in mind, I decided that what felt good and authentic was to remove myself from this contest. My intuition says this is the right thing to do and this is the month I start trusting it. The little voice in my head saying “but you could win this and be more popular” can just go take a hike. Be sure to take a camel along, it’s a long trip where you’re going!
THANK YOU to all of you who voted me to # 1 – I’ve saved all your comments I am still glad I entered this contest for I know even more now that my worth does not depend on what someone says or thinks about me.
It depends on what I believe to be true. It’s reminded me AGAIN that real happiness and peace come from being true to oneself, and true to others. It showed me how many amazing friends and loyal readers I have. It re-inforced the power of synergy (where my friends and I voted for each other as opposed to taking each other down).
It helped me be kind and loving to myself and accept my imperfections. And my desire for you is to do the same for yourself.
I want you to live your best life ever. I want you to unleash your awesomeness on the world, warts and all.
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You can start by sharing your thoughts and feelings about how you want to show up MORE in your life in the comments section. I am here to listen, encourage and love you AS YOU ARE. You rock my friend
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