“Doing What Feels Good”- A Cop Out?
I’m the first to admit I hardly ever do anything that doesn’t feel good.
In the past 10 years I’ve made some VERY inspired decisions based on how adventurous and new the experience was, rather than how much money I could make or how far up the corporate ladder I could advance.
I chose today over tomorrow. Not the most conventional way to live, I was subconsciously picking the most FUN path to follow over the one that would bring me the most “conventional success”.
Today, I’m more conscious of my actions as I check to see how I’m feeling before taking action, hardly ever doing anything unless it feels good to do.
Paradoxically, there are those times when I didn’t feel good about doing something and did it anyway.
You think I’m going to say I regret those times, right?
No.
Because some of those time that I did what didn’t feel good, turned out to bring results that made me feel SO glad I did.
And some of the times I did what ‘felt good’ turned out to be nothing more than procrastination and putting off the inevitable, wasting time and energy in the process. Eg: endlessly watching Scrubs re-runs online instead of working on my business plan for 2010, which would serve me in the long run.
Which brings me to state: There are times it’s actually a good thing to do what you’re not enthused about! Times when “doing what feels good” is a complete cop out that does more harm than good.
What if you decided you really wanted something, and you’d have to be disciplined about doing what it takes to get it but you hate being disciplined?
- What if you cancelled on a concert at the last minute because you didn’t feel like getting dressed up, and then later regretted it when you heard how awesome it was?
- Or you have bills to pay and you hate doing that. But if you didn’t your utilities would be cut off, so whether you feel good about doing it or not, you just have to do it.
- Or you’re looking for a new job and have to work on your resume but you hate doing that. Would you find a creative way around it (like hiring a resume writer) or would you make yourself do it?
And what about the times you DID do something you didn’t want to and were GLAD that you went against that initial feeling?
- Like when you didn’t want to go take that new course in school and it turned out to be your best decision ever?
- Or you forced yourself to go out to that party and met your soulmate?
- How about the time you were nice to someone you didn’t like and they ended up becoming your best friend?
I think it comes down to knowing the answer to:
When do you know you’re actually following your feel good or mistaking your comfort zone for it?
What if swallowing that frog was the one thing stopping you from getting what you want?
What if, to get what you want, you first have to do something you DON’T want to do?
There are times I’ve made myself do something I didn’t feel like doing (like go to the gym and lift weights) because it was what I thought I needed to do to get to my ultimate goal of getting toned the fastest way I could.
So by compromising my feel good in the moment, I’m honouring my bigger goal and that makes me happy when I’ve done it, even if I had to force myself to take action at first. Paradoxically, by taking action I don’t even have to wait until I’ve finished that action to feel good – the vibe changes just by doing it!
Do you change your mind cos it doesn’t feel good right now or do you keep your commitment inspite of that because you know you’ll feel better for it? How do you decide what course of action to follow?
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I’m just really curious to know how you balance doing what you aren’t aligned with in the moment, with the bigger picture that you ARE aligned with. How do you handle these tricky situations? I’d looking forward to your insights and thoughts! Thanks so much for sharing, as always.
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