When Nothing Is Happening, Everything Is.

August 31, 2010 by Tia · 7 Comments
Filed under: Inspired Action, Life

Mike Dooley says – you know what happens just before something big is about to happen?

Nothing.

So if you feel that nothing is happening, celebrate for it is just about to burst through!

Have patience. Yes, it’s the hardest thing to do when you want something so bad you can almost taste it.

Still, have patience.

If you find yourself procrastinating, don’t sweat it. Procrastination can actually be good and a big part of the creative process.

Often something you thought would take a few days or weeks can turn into months. You could be getting a new website designed and go back and forth for ages with nothing really fitting. It can seem like endlessly treading water as you wonder why it isn’t all just falling into place.

You stay patient and trusting because you understand something of how the Universe & Creation works.

Through it all, you keep following your intuition. You clarify and refine your vision, mission and purpose over and over again until it finally starts taking a shape that makes your heart skip a beat.

You know you’re on the right track, you’re getting closer.

You meditate on your vision, you keep hitting pitches and taking Inspired Action, baby steps in sometimes completely unrelated directions.

You act with faith, get started and keep going even when it seems like nothing is happening, with your eyes firmly fixed on your vision. Tweak along the way, keep tweaking, moving, adjusting course as you go along.

You see, sometimes, you just have to get going and trust that your ducks will fall into line. If you spend all your time trying to get them in a row befoe you start, it may never happen.

And yet, at other times, you need to follow your intuition and “procrastinate” on certain things.

Don’t try to force action if it’s not feeling good. In that case especially, trust that there is a reason behind the procrastination, figure out what it is and then take appropriate (in)action as the case may be.

All the while keeping the Golden Rule in mind - Do What Feels Good.

It won’t be long before you see evidence that it really WAS all happening perfectly behind the scenes. Soon you’ll be too busy celebrating and reaping your rewards to ever remember a time that it wasn’t.

And the days of “procrastinating” will make perfect sense.

To know more about When, Why and How Procrastination actually serves you, sign up to get a copy of my brand new hot off the press free eBook “Procrastination is your Friend – Make it Work for You”!

You’ll also have access to the soon to be launched Your Life YOUR Way ezine on Sept 15th, 2010, a newsletter all about strategies, tips, ideas and inspiration to live your life and make a great living … you got it, YOUR way.

Um…. why are you waiting? GET IT NOW & then procrastinate if you must

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Have you ever put off something you were supposed to do and found out later that it actually worked out better for you? I’d love to hear your stories of how procrastinating helped, rather than harmed you. Thanks in advance for sharing!

ps: Would love to include your Procrastination Success Stories in my eBook so if you’re game, leave a comment telling your story and/or email me at tia@coachtia.com. Let’s get the word out. Cheers!

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Tags: Inspired Action, Procrastination is your friend

Embrace Your Imbalanced Life

July 21, 2010 by Tia · 8 Comments
Filed under: Guest Posts, Life

A question asked by a reader in the Coach T.I.A rebranding survey was along the lines of Life Balance. How do you live a balanced life while managing a job, family, friends, leisure time, spiritual development & home? And lo! Up popped Leslie with the exact same idea for a guest post just as I was about to write one – needless to say, we were on. Thanks Leslie for this excellent post about Balance & Imbalance!

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Isn’t it amazing how we can go into certain situations thinking we’re the “experts” only to find that the people we’re there to help end up teaching US great life lessons?!

This is what happened to me last summer when I developed a 2-hour lunch & learn program called “Embracing Your Imbalanced Life” for the American Society of Association Executives (ASAE) Women’s Executive Forum.

It was an unpaid job but promised me great exposure. As a new entrepreneur, I jumped at the chance to be in front of a new audience.

We set up a call to talk about what kind of topic might be appropriate for this group. I started with a list of the things I usually facilitated and knew something about:

Communication styles
Personality conflicts & how to deal with them
Process Improvement
The Problem Solving Process

After each item I mentioned on my list my friend said the same thing:

“Boring! We’ve heard it before!”

Fortunately I was able to move on from a severely bruised ego and ask, “So what are the holes then? What is the thing this group needs someone to talk about?”

“Well, I don’t know about everyone else,” said my friend, “but I’m tired of hearing all the time that I need to be more balanced.

My life is imbalanced… I need to learn to deal with THAT!”

And so the idea was born.

We collaborated to create a class called “Embracing Your Imbalanced Life,” an interactive session focused on turning chaos into an asset.

A lunch program that normally gathers around 30 people, ended up drawing 75 powerful women together to talk about what we all wonder… how the heck DO we embrace the crazy, imbalanced lives we are living?!

(I guess this was a topic waiting to be talked about, huh!)

We played with a great exercise called The Wheel of Life to help people see where their lives might be out of balance and went through a series of questions about defining balance AND imbalance.

That’s when, in the midst of figuring out how imbalance can actually work for us, one group came up with a stunning realization!

We constantly compare ourselves to everyone else’s “Kodak moments.”

You know the ones..

perfect family pictures snapped by a lovely Christmas tree
vacation shots in front of the Eifel Tower
snapshots from weddings, formals, & cocktail parties where we look our absolute BEST that we plaster all over Facebook

But where are the shots of people without make up and in the same pajamas for 3 days? Who’s posting those?

NO ONE!!

And who’s living that way?

LOTS OF PEOPLE!!

So we end up comparing the mental snapshots of our out-of-balance, crazy, hectic, make-us-want-to-tear-our-hair-out days with everyone else’s picture-perfect, photo-retouched, only-post-what’s-GREAT pictures on Facebook.

Is it any wonder we feel less than wonderful when we try to compare those two very opposite images?

NO!!

So after that realization, we talked about strategies for staying balanced WITHIN our imbalance.

Planning a wedding that throws you out of balance financially –> using a budget keeps you sane
Running a marathon=can’t walk for days –> a training program that builds slowly, makes it possible
Changing jobs means longer hours as you learn –> being clear on why the change is the right step for you (&/or your family) makes the long hours worth it

It was clear most of us weren’t going to magically become more balanced and have everything under control all the time. But just like the perfect pictures on Facebook, we realized balance is a snapshot.

Sure we can get the family together for ONE great shot under the tree at Christmas.

But before we know it the kids are fighting, Dad’s back in front of the TV, Aunt Bunny’s had one too many eggnogs, and we don’t care anyway because we’re online posting that perfect picture to prove to the world we DO have it all together.

“Look at US,” our picture proclaims. “We are happy & balanced, damn it!”

And we were (if only for a moment in time) – the picture proves it. But what’s more fun…sitting for a perfect family picture or the chaos that ensues when the people we love are all under one roof celebrating being together?

I’d say it’s the latter.

But then again, I stopped using only the perfect pictures on Facebook.

The imbalanced ones end up getting a whole lot more laughs & comments.

And THAT, I love!

Maybe imbalance isn’t so bad after all.

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For information on how you can attend Leslie’s upcoming ‘Embrace Your Imbalanced Life’ workshop in Denver on August 7, 2010 click here or e-mail her at leslie@embraceimbalance.com.

So tell us, what do YOU think of balance & do you think balance is worth seeking or is imbalance where it’s at? Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Tags: Balance, Imbalance, Living a Balanced Life

25 Things I wish I’d Learned Sooner in my Life

June 25, 2010 by Tia · 44 Comments
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention, Life, courage

Back in 1998, fresh out of Grad school and working in my first ever “real” job as an Account Executive in an Advertising agency in New Delhi, I knew.

http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/

I knew that I was going to quit the corporate world within 5 years.

I lasted 4.

Out of which, I probably only worked a total of 23 months and took a lot of time off to travel or experience being in between jobs.

I should have known then, that life in a cubicle wasn’t for me – something fabulous coach Pam Slim knows well. (That’s her book on the right, if you haven’t read it yet, GET it.)

It STILL took another 5 years for me to start my personal development and awareness journey with many twists and turns, to bring me where I am today.

A place of understanding, expansion, trust, happiness, knowing. I have learned, experienced, struggled, loved, lost and finally come home to me.

To the voice that was waiting to be discovered, to the courage I’ve always had but never known, to live life boldly on my own terms.

I don’t regret anything that I did or experienced, not even the painful events of my life and yet, when super awesome blogger Abubakar Jamil asked me to write a post on Things I Wish I’d Known or Learned Earlier in my Life, I was in like Flynn.

While I believe that our experiences are necessary for us to grow and evolve, there are a few gentle reminders that I wish I could have given myself – or should I say, started believing much earlier in my life.

So, knowing what I know now, what would I have told a much younger Tia to absolutely know and trust? What would I tell you?

1) It’s okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. Not being able to pick a career or know what you want to do does not mean that you aren’t “living up to your potential” or wasting your life. One day, it will come together.

Till then, be okay with not knowing. Or, like me, never “grow up” and pick one thing to do for the rest of your life - keep sampling everything you’re passionate about and interested in.

(If you don’t think that’s possible, think again. I’ve made a career out of it. Ask me how tia at coachtia.com)

2) You always have a choice. Even when life isn’t panning out the way you want, you can choose how to respond. Even when you feel completely helpless, you have a choice!

Don’t spend your time thinking you have to do what’s expected of you, wanting to be liked and making decisions based on all the wrong things.

3) You are Loved! When you think you’re all alone in this world, you’re not. You’re never alone or unloved as long as spirit lives within you. If you ever feel alone and needy, step outside and look up at the sky, the zillions of stars above you.

4) Enjoy the in between spaces. The time it takes to make your dreams come true. The periods of singledom. The time spent in relationships. Don’t be in one situation and wish for it to be something else. That is truly a sad waste of time.

Cos you’ll look back one day and wish you were more present, instead of worrying about when things would change. And believe it or not, those are the things you’ll miss

5) Everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end. I really truly wish I’d known that when life sucks, it isn’t going to suck forever and all one has to do is wait the wave out. Or better still, grab a surf board and ride the damn thing!

6) Your heart will get broken time and again and just when you feel you can’t take it any more, it will heal. And you’ll find love again.

7) Being selfish is not a bad thing.

8. Trust that feeling in your gut. Those times you said something but felt something else? INTUITION! Your inner guidance system that will never do you wrong. You already know. Trust yourself.

9) Don’t make excuses for who you are. Don’t pretend to like music your friends like, or change your mind, behaviour or tastes to become someone you’re not. If you don’t want a 6 figure salary or the life they want, own it. If you want to make a million dollars, own that too.

Whoever you are, whatever you want, is valid!

10) Scrap some words from your vocabulary - like should, must, but. Create your own. “Happying” “Vortexualising” “Magicking” (some of my faves)

11) It can be scary to be you - but if you stand up and say “this is me”, you give permission to yourself and others. It’s the highest form of self love and acceptance! Embrace your quirks. Be brave. The world needs you to be YOU.

For inspiration, check out Vancouver’s SPANDY ANDY, a man who embodies this 1250%.

http://spandyandy.com/2009/10/20/new-tight-and-bright-gear/

12) Make decisions based on what you want to experience next, NOT on the basis of pros and cons. This is taken from one of my favourite personal development bloggers, Steve Pavlina.

13) Travel will change you. Be prepared to expand and grow like you never thought possible. Oh, and travel – the earlier, the better.

14) Create your own values. Make them yours. Know what makes you happy.

15) You are beautiful, you are loved, you are special. Never let anyone tell you you’re not.

16) Your parents are doing the best they can. Forgive them and quietly listen to your heart to tell you what to do with your life.

17) Failing at something does not make you a failure. Yeah I know how cliched this is and if only I’d believed that when I was younger … something I still struggle with sometimes.

Also, you WILL fail, without fail! And it’s fine to dislike it, as long as it doesn’t stop you from getting back on the horse!

18) Quitting IS an option. The sooner you accept that and stop trying to please everyone, the faster you’ll progress. Check out what Seth Godin has to say about quitting your job and when it’s a good time to quit on other things.

19) Throw tantrums in private. Express yourself fully but don’t take it out on people you love.

20) Some days, you won’t want to get out of bed. That’s ok. It’s normal. You will survive.

21) Nutella makes everything better. It really, truly does. Comfort food rocks!

22) Life is WAY easier if you go with the flow – row your boat downstream. If someone tells you you’re lazy, CELEBRATE. Love your “I’m taking the easy way or no way” attitude and if you don’t have one, cultivate it

23) Comparison is the deadliest disease. A little competition is healthy but know this – there is no race, you will not fall behind, there’s no one to catch up to, you have all the time in the world.

This one thing is probably one of your most consistent challenges & requires gentle reminders to self.

24) Don’t be mean. Just don’t.

25) Have more opinions and don’t be scared to share them.

And for a bonus:

Dream more, make up stories of how you want things to be. When people laugh, laugh back at or with them. Years later, they’ll come to YOU for inspiration, advice and insights.

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Over to you – what’s something you wish you’d known earlier? If you enjoyed reading this post and think it could help inspire someone you know, please go right ahead & hit the share / “like” buttons. They & I will love you for it! Thanks!

Tags: If I knew then what I know now, Lessons I've learned

Entrepreneurship & The Girl + Freelance Camp Vancouver

May 17, 2010 by Tia · 5 Comments
Filed under: Life, Passion, life coaching

I just realised that Coach T.I.A turned a YEAR old last month and I forgot to celebrate.

The day I started this blog came and went without any fanfare.

Had I remembered, I’d have taken the time to pat myself on the back and congratulate myself on this journey.

You see, I am an Entrepreneur.

I didn’t know that a year ago.

Back when I finished coach training, started this blog, started my business, got certified and immersed myself in social media, I didn’t know that.

I do now.

Back then I thought that once I’d finished my coach training, everything else would just fall into place. Clients would find me, I’d happily write my blog every week, send out my newsletter every 2 weeks, grow my subscribers and readers, create eBooks and start a radio show.

Some of it happened like I imagined, some didn’t.

No one told me about the huge learning curve, or the moments of wanting to run away from it all to a safe cushy job somewhere where I could switch off at 5pm. Granted it’s rare when I feel like that, but it happens sometimes.

Being an entrepreneur is exciting, frustrating, tricky, energising, exhausting, insomnia inducing, gratitude inducing to say the least.

On the one hand there’s all the freedom in the world to wake up when you want, take afternoon naps, go for a walk in the middle of the day, and make your own schedule.

And on the other, there are those sleepless nights when your (ok, ok, my!) mind is full of ideas and plans for your business and sometimes, paralysing fears of doom and dismal failure.

If you’re someone who works from home, here are some tips to keep you sane:

have a network of trusted people to lean on
talk about your experiences, highs and lows
make sure you’re not going it alone!
get yourself some coach / mentor support
remember the big picture – your why (know your reasons)
connect with fellow entrepreneurs & share learnings

That’s just what I’ll be doing next week as I join a bunch of very talented and enterprising professionals Vancouver’s First Freelance Camp for Entrepreneurs on Sat, May 29th, from 9am – 4pm.

What’s that you ask? From the horse’s mouth:

An open agenda that participants create on the day of the event
All about discussion, interaction & learning
Share your freelancing experience & discuss challenges you’re facing
Get experience-based answers to your questions
Network, meet potential clients and/or partners
Explore different approaches to freelancing

Doesn’t this sound so innovative and exciting?

If you live in Vancouver or know someone who does, I highly recommend you bring yourself or send them along to this Unconference of local Creatives and Entrepreneurs.

Lets drink endless coffee, learn, share and connect! Check out the site for more information & see you there.

Oh, and a Belated Happy 1st Birthday to Coach T.I.A! We’ve only just begun… how about you?

Tags: Coach T.I.A turns one, Freelance Camp Vancouver, support network, Vancouver Entrepreneur