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The Flawed Search for Courage
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/simiant/44806824/
One of you posed a question in the rebranding survey that got me thinking.
Specifically, you wondered how you could find the mental space, the courage you need to take control of your life & career.
One that’s not as enjoyable as you wish.
It’s not the first time I’ve heard the wistfulness and frustation behind the query.
If you’re not someone who feels like this, then you’re someone who used to or someone who knows someone else who still does.
It’s that feeling of a life half lived. On everyone’s terms but your own, or so it feels. I can tell you this, it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for me to find the answers. And when I did, oh boy.
It really was the simplest thing.
We often say “it’s simple but not easy” (sounds like a self limiting belief to me, one that I definately want to explore cos isn’t Ease just a matter of habit – the more we practise, the easier it get? .. I digress).
Wikipedia defines Courage as: bravery, fortitude, will, and intrepidity, the ability to confront fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty, or intimidation.
You already know that the concept of courage being something external that you have to find or develop in order to get the life you want, is flawed.
There are many occasions in your life that you have exhibited courage, even if you didn’t know it at the time. Those were times you didn’t have to ask for it, look for it or try to build it.
Those were times when you were in alignment with your values, your beliefs, your essential self. The times you were just BEING.
Like when you stood up for a friend being picked on, when you let yourself be vulnerable in love, when you were hurt by someone and got over it, when you got fired and picked up the pieces to start over, when you left home to go to Uni thousands of miles away, when you spoke up at the office meeting.
You might think “oh, but that’s not courage, that’s just life”.
I’m here to tell you,
Courage isn’t just something you magically grow in an emergency or when something goes wrong.
Courage is not something that comes to you when you’re fighting a serious illness like cancer. That my friends, is what you do to survive.
In my opinion, we’ve got it backwards.
Courage is daily life.
The little decisions we make on a regular basis when we choose “right” from wrong”, act with integrity, the choices we make when no one is looking.
It’s all too easy to dismiss those decisions as “life”.
What would change if you started viewing yourself as living courageously, with heart, every day of your life?
Because you are.
You’re just not seeing it, or focusing on it enough. As long as you think courage is something you have to develop, you’ll find yourself lacking.
When you start noticing and being aware of the actions you take daily, the words you speak, the thoughts you think, and commit to them being aligned with your values, then my friend, you’re living a courageous life.
Even though the degree might vary.
Each time you make a decision to be who you truly are, you’re tapping into your inner self, which is where courage lives. And you start living a life YOU want.
So how do you become more aware of how truly courageous you ALREADY are and CELEBRATE your way into more acts of courage?
Here are my top tips:
- Treat life as an adventure - you’re not here to “get it right”, you’re here to have the experiences you want
- Raise your consciousness
- Find one thing you did each day that is courageous by these standards
- Make a list of times in your life you’ve acted with courage, ie, listened to your heart, stood up for someone or something you believed in. You’ll be surprised how many times you were being brave but didn’t even know it.
- Experiment with fear
- Remember that everything is temporary - if you lose what you fear losing, you will still be MORE than ok
- Know that no matter what, you cannot make a wrong choice – your choices ARE your unique life path
Courage isn’t about freeing yourself of undesirable situations, it’s allowing yourself to step into more of YOU. How’s that for living your life to its fullest, funnest potential? There’s nothing to change, just more of you to discover 
I’d love to hear about you – when was the last time you acted courageously, whether you realised it at the time or not? Are there some areas of your life where you’re more courageous than others? What’s different there? Looking forward to your insights and experiences. Thanks in advance for sharing!
ps: Do you know someone who could benefit from having a little more faith in themselves? Please do them a kindness and share this post. Many thanks!
How To Get Out Of a Funk INSTANTLY!
Filed under: Fun, Inspired Action, Intention, Law of Attraction, happiness, love
I spend a lot of time “hanging out” at the Good Vibe University, my fave Law of Attraction & Conscious Creation resource, where a fellow GVUer just started the coolest thread ever.
It’s such a happy, joy inducing thread that I got inspired to start one here.
Behold, the secret weapon! A quick, fast, easy, simple and super fun way to get out of a funk / make a bad day turn awesome:
Take a trip down memory lane.
(Thank you Robert!)
I’ll start us off with a list of some of my favourite memories, feel free to use them as a feel-good tool anytime you want but even better, add yours to the list after you’re done reading!
- Lying on the lawn with my mom, dad and brother after dinner, counting stars and pointing out constellations – I always looked for the Big Dipper and North Star
- Meals at the table and playing post meal games like battleships and “name place animal thing“
- My favourite Uncle surprising us with visits on his military breaks. Oh HOW my brother and I would squeal and scream and jump all over him when we came home from school and found out he was there!
- Hiding behind curtains watching my parents dance at parties
- Playing Monopoly surrounded by a ton of 5 star Cadbury chocolates that my Uncle would bring us. There was never a game of Monopoly played with more enthusiasm or more chocolates (I only have 4 fillings, thank you very much!)
- Spending 2 months every summer with my cousins at Grandpa’s home in the paternal village
- Dad flying past said house in ‘his’ helicopter, hovering above to drop off chocolates and goodies that would float down in little kerchief sized parachutes which we’d run about catching
- Always screaming “PAPA! PAPA!” EVERY time my brother & I saw a helicopter .. LOL!!
- Riding in a rickshaw to go see an Indian movie titled “I am a Disco Dancer” and er… disco dancing like him
- Hosting my 1st (and probably last) “Midnight Feast” brought on by too many Enid Blyton books (age 11)
- Playing dress ups
- Sleepovers with my best friends, 4 of us piled up on top of each other talking through the night about crushes & first loves
- My first Jam Session (co-ed dance evening) at the DSOI (Defence Services Officers Club)
- Waking up the day (or was it midnight?) of my 20th birthday to find a bucket FULL of roses waiting outside my front door from my boyfriend at the time
- Creating a story out of thin air that had my friend Mandira totally fooled for a WEEK and the 4 of us laughing as we finally told her the truth
- Christmas eve at my friend Nina’s in the 90’s where I’d put up decorations and be rewarded by her mum’s yummiest, most-amazing-Fudge-in-the-world
- That one time at my Uncle’s playing Pictionary where he tried to cheat but collapsed with laughter instead and his daughter caught on – so many laughs & giggles that night
- Singing very loudly in cars with my best friends, totally off key and having the best time
- The time Amanda, Sally and I sang “Drops of Jupiter” and waited for the “even when you’re wrong” part so we could yell loudly at each other!
- Winning a hula hoop competition at Amanda’s Slip n Slide party, the 1st time I ever hula hooped (age 27)
- Amanda’s Parties!! The BEST parties ever, ever, ever that made my 2 years in the US so fun!
- Swing dancing with my friend Matt who was the bestest, awesomest swing dancer and effortlessly swung me around
- Oh also my friend Rob, that time he dipped me on the floor and said I won’t drop you. And he didn’t.
- So many Hotlanta nights of dancing till 3am, going home exhausted, tired and happy
- Camping at Tugaloo with my Atlanta friends and late night swims in the lake
- St Patrick’s day 2002 in Savannah, Georgia. 200 of us took 4 buses out from Atlanta to Savannah and by the time we got there at noon, we were all in a state of Irish inebriation. Good times!
- My birthday in 2001 when my friends hosted a wonderful party for me and made me wear a crown that slipped & cut my nose
- Watching Kenny Rogers at Chastain Park, Atlanta with my friend John and crying tears of happiness cos Kenny reminded me of my dad who I missed and was the source of my love of country music
- Finding out my New Zealand work visa had been granted and I was on my way to Queenstown, NZ
- Realising that a guy I was crazy about liked me back and was about to ask me out – oh that moment is etched forever
- Walking up Queenstown Hill with my ex and him singing the silliest song ever that went like “Rin tin tin tin tin HEY!” over and over and over again with accompanying dance movements, till I was laughing so hard I was in tears
- Getting a red rose every month on the anniversary of our 1st date from the same ex
- In Feb this year, waking up at 6am to go see Arnold Scharznegger light the Olympic flame and getting out of breath from running around from spot to spot and STILL missing him totally
- Weaving through hundreds of people with my friend Jakob to get pictures of the Olympic Flame
- The Olympic nights on Granville Street, the euphoria and excitement in the air
- Watching Canada win Olympic Hockey Gold at the Cambie, woohoo!
- Getting laid off from my “last job ever” in Vancouver in 2008 and realising that this was the start of a fantastic new future, smiling and telling the firing manager that as she was fighting off tears
- Discovering coaching and the exciting world of Entrepreneurship, the moment I knew that I would never again work for the Establishment
Wow, wow, wow I could go on all day. Going through my memories made me aware of just how great a life I’ve had and continue to have, full of many amazing times, friends, events.
The next time you feel like the world is out to get you or the sky is going to fall on your head and everything just sucks, try this.
Start writing down a list of your favourite memories. I’ll just bet you won’t be able to stop once you get started. Total, INSTANT Vibe Shifter! I’m only stopping so you don’t get tired of reading, ha!
Ok, over to you now – what are some of your favourite memories?
Share them here and add to the good vibes spilling all over this post
I can’t WAIT to hear from you!!
The Repository of Fabulousness… YOUR blogs!
Hey guys!
Two things – First, I’m now on Day 9 of Round 2 of the 29 gifts in 29 days project I did last year and it’s so much fun to look for something special to do each day.
(Way to build that giving muscle – check it out and join me in this project if you feel at all inspired..)
Second, I came across this post on link love by awesome possum blogger Sarah Robinson (who borrowed it from Danny Brown and Cam Herold) and voila!
I’ve decided to be a shameless copy-cat and jump on the bandwagon.
(Whatever took me so long?! Why didn’t I think of this myself?)
Appreciation for YOU:
Over the past 11 months you have provided over the top value and priceless insights here – THANK you for that!
Thank you also for your presence, your sharing, your caring, your energy, your wit, your openness, your questions, your answers, your generosity, your heart. (Stop me if I’m getting too soppy ;))
I SEE YOU!!
I love reading your comments and your blogs, now it’s time for you to share your writing with everyone else here too.
Whether you blog regularly or once in a blue moon, don’t be shy – please add your link here. And if you read but never comment, then I ESPECIALLY want to hear from you! If you don’t have a blog, share your faves instead.
This is the time to let us into your world so we can get to know and love you! I’m already rubbing my hands in anticipation
So, without further ado, tell us where to go to get MORE of your fabulousness!
- Your Name
- Your Blog’s Name and URL
- What you love blogging about
- How to connect with you – twitter, facebook etc
- Anything else you want to say about yourself, life, the Universe, chocolates, whatever – your space, your gig!
Looking forward to it! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
ps: Feel free to add your fav blogs to the list (thanks Laura for so generously doing that)
pps: Here’s a song I’m loving today that I really wanted to share with you. The lyrics are amazing – you’re only as tall as your heart will let you feel, you’re only as small as the world will make you seem.
(Thanks GorgeousSophie for posting this one!)
Not Having Fun? You’re Doing It ALL Wrong!!
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Fun, Inspired Action, Intention, Life, happiness
I’m the Queen of Taking Inspired Action and Following My Fun n Feel Good!
But sometimes even Queens can forget to put their crowns on.
Ever gotten all gung ho about a new idea? Gotten really excited about it, thought about it day and night and joined a 4 month program that would help bring it to life?
Which is all well and good you know.
Ever been so consumed by it that it wasn’t fun anymore? Stayed up past 3am thinking, woken up late, felt overwhelmed and tired all day long? I have.
Whooaa!
Even though it’s only been a few days, it’s so not how I run my life!
Somewhere between the grand idea and today, I let my Fun Factor slide. For some reason, thinking about this new business seemed more like work than play (unlike my coaching practice – setting this up was pure fun!).
Ever taken action from a totally-uninspired-low-vibe-space even when you know better? Yep, me too.
As I explored why, it struck me that sometimes, we tend to get too serious about things that are really important to us (I call it getting “significant”). It’s as though by taking it “seriously”, we’ll appear to be more responsible or capable.
We’ve yet to embrace the concept that taking something on doesn’t mean we have to give up having fun with it! Or that we can be “serious” about fun and committed to what we want without getting all tied up in knots.
Lifetime of “work = work, play = play” messages anyone? Well, it just doesn’t work like that anymore!
If one of your values is Fun/Play (like mine), then you know that the more you lose sight of it, the harder it gets to accomplish your goals. And the more action you take, the less you end up doing. Funny how that can happen.
So it was with that Thunk! Clunk! in my brain – The downstream way is to feel good first! Do what ups your vibe, gives you energy and makes you feel good. THEN look at your to-do list and what else needs to be done.
Don’t even TOUCH or do anything till you’ve spent a few minutes connecting with what makes you happy and energetic, k? All you need is 5 minutes or less so don’t tell me you don’t have the time. Make it a priority.
(Btw, love how this is turning into a series of “what I learned from the last few days” posts!)
I’m a smart cookie. Soon’s I remembered that, I changed it around. I don’t get out of bed without a quick 5 minutes of meditation (getting out of bed and meditating felt like work, so I stay in now).
The first thing I do when I turn on the computer now? Nope, not email.
Music!
The second? Dancing to the Music.
Right here in my living room cum office cum cubbyhole apartment.
Then I call a friend or someone I’d like to connect with for a little check in/chat. Doing this yesterday was so awesome that my fun factor went through the roof! I chatted with one friend and brainstormed crazy business ideas and names with another.
Got SO energised that the rest of the day was 100 times more productive and fun than the last 2 weeks have been.
And I got to play with these concepts again:
- If I’m not having fun, I’m doing it all wrong.
- Fun starts with feeling good about what I’m doing at any given time.
- Raise your energy first before you tackle the rest of it.
- Plugging away is NOT inspiring!
Ps: As I was writing this post, I took about 2 breaks to dance to Chris Brown’s Forever and Rihanna’s Please Don’t Stop The Music. So much fun!
Let’s recap shall we?
Tia’s Top Tips for Productivity:
- Start day with quick 5 minute meditation / intention setting
- Check in with yourself every couple of hours – how are you feeling?
- If your work’s starting to drag, give yourself a 5 minute FUN break.
- Play music and dance to bring out creativity
- Or phone a friend / someone who inspires you
- Indulge in your chosen “breaktivity” and let it UP your energy level
- Then take some fantastic inspired action
- Oh and one last time – make it FUN, dude!
‘Cos when you’re floating downstream you’ll find that the EAC you were looking for, fighting your way through to find, was the very same one you were already floating in.
In case I lost you there, here’s a wee recap from Finding Nemo (watch 1st 2 minutes):
Marlin: OK, Crush. I need to get to the East Australian Current. EAC?
Crush: [laughing] Oh, dude. You’re ridin’ it, dude! Check it out!
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Where do you make “life” more serious than it needs to be? Paying bills / mortgage/ trying to make a difference in the world – how can you remind yourself to make it FUN and bring play into it? Looking forward to hearing your ideas!
These Are a Few of My Favourite Things ♬ ♬
- Picture sourced from iranian.com
To count my blessings, focus on what I want to create & list what makes me happy, I decided to get em together in one sweet place. Why alphabetically? Oh, just cos I can
I’ll be back to add more as I think of them (bonus: will keep me focused on what I like for the next few days, yay!)
Go ahead and share yours too (alpabetically or however you want) so I can steal some of them. Hehe.. Let the favourites games begin.
- A’s about Awareness, adaptability, authenticity, almond butter, adventures
- B brings me BFFs, babies – their laughs and cuddle factor, bubble baths, blip.fm, blogging, board games
- C creates Community, creativity, coaching, cafe catch ups with friends, chocolate, colours, campfires. Also, courage, contentment and conscious creation.
- D .d.d.d Dancing! Dates with my man, DVD nights with my gfs
- ENERGY!! EQ, Epiphanies (they ROCK!)
- F starts with Fun, festivals, fall (crisp fall air!), family, facing my fears (ok, I don’t love this but I love how I feel after!), feelings, financial freedom, FREEDOM of choice
- Gelato (nutella gelatos!), glitter
- Hula hooping, happiness, huggling (a mix of hugging and cuddling), humour
- I = Inspiration, Intentions, inner peace, instant connections – the kind where you meet someone and feel like you`ve been friends forever
- Jewel (the word – I love the word Jewel!)
- Kick ass people – too many to name, karmafication
- Law of attraction, leverage, love, living, life, laughing till I snort or my sides ache (whatever comes first), Leonard Cohen
- Making up words, music, movies
- Nutella (you KNEW this was gonna be first, didn’t you!), New Zealand
- Oreosssss
- Photographs – taking and looking at, personal growth, play-fullness
- Q: Quad biking
- Responding, not reacting. Reading inspirational stuff, randomness (being random), road trips
- Scrubs (yes, the TV show), sparkly stuff, snow globes, singing out loud in the shower and around my house (also in cars), social media!
- Travel, twitter, taking risks, trampolines (jump, jump, jump!), Tribe (as in, “my people”)
- U. Yes, U . Unconventionality, uniqueness
- Visioning … also known as daydreaming, videos (esp high energy ones like these)
- Writing (that wasn’t obvious was it , white water rafting, world citizenship
- Xcalibur (don’t tell me to spell it with an E, shhh X was feeling lonely)
- Y? I already said – just cos! Yin n Yang, Yodanese
- Zen habits and Zillion (as in, can’t believe the zillion things I came up with)
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This wasn’t easy. It WAS real fun though Who’s next?
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