The Flawed Search for Courage

July 8, 2010 by Tia · 15 Comments
Filed under: Experiments, Fun, Inspired Action, courage 

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/simiant/44806824/

One of you posed a question in the rebranding survey that got me thinking.

Specifically, you wondered how you could find the mental space, the courage you need to take control of your life & career.

One that’s not as enjoyable as you wish.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard the wistfulness and frustation behind the query.

If you’re not someone who feels like this, then you’re someone who used to or someone who knows someone else who still does.

It’s that feeling of a life half lived. On everyone’s terms but your own, or so it feels. I can tell you this, it wasn’t the easiest thing in the world for me to find the answers. And when I did, oh boy.

It really was the simplest thing.

We often say “it’s simple but not easy” (sounds like a self limiting belief to me, one that I definately want to explore cos isn’t Ease just a matter of habit – the more we practise, the easier it get? .. I digress).

Wikipedia defines Courage as: bravery, fortitude, will, and intrepidity, the ability to confront fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty, or intimidation.

You already know that the concept of courage being something external that you have to find or develop in order to get the life you want, is flawed.

There are many occasions in your life that you have exhibited courage, even if you didn’t know it at the time. Those were times you didn’t have to ask for it, look for it or try to build it.

Those were times when you were in alignment with your values, your beliefs, your essential self. The times you were just BEING.

Like when you stood up for a friend being picked on, when you let yourself be vulnerable in love, when you were hurt by someone and got over it, when you got fired and picked up the pieces to start over, when you left home to go to Uni thousands of miles away, when you spoke up at the office meeting.

You might think “oh, but that’s not courage, that’s just life”.

I’m here to tell you,

Courage isn’t just something you magically grow in an emergency or when something goes wrong.

Courage is not something that comes to you when you’re fighting a serious illness like cancer. That my friends, is what you do to survive.

In my opinion, we’ve got it backwards.

Courage is daily life.

The little decisions we make on a regular basis when we choose “right” from wrong”, act with integrity, the choices we make when no one is looking.

It’s all too easy to dismiss those decisions as “life”.

What would change if you started viewing yourself as living courageously, with heart, every day of your life?

Because you are.

You’re just not seeing it, or focusing on it enough. As long as you think courage is something you have to develop, you’ll find yourself lacking.

When you start noticing and being aware of the actions you take daily, the words you speak, the thoughts you think, and commit to them being aligned with your values, then my friend, you’re living a courageous life.

Even though the degree might vary.

Each time you make a decision to be who you truly are, you’re tapping into your inner self, which is where courage lives. And you start living a life YOU want.

So how do you become more aware of how truly courageous you ALREADY are and CELEBRATE your way into more acts of courage?

Here are my top tips:

  • Treat life as an adventure - you’re not here to “get it right”, you’re here to have the experiences you want
  • Raise your consciousness
  • Find one thing you did each day that is courageous by these standards
  • Make a list of times in your life you’ve acted with courage, ie, listened to your heart, stood up for someone or something you believed in. You’ll be surprised how many times you were being brave but didn’t even know it.
  • Experiment with fear
  • Remember that everything is temporary - if you lose what you fear losing, you will still be MORE than ok
  • Know that no matter what, you cannot make a wrong choice – your choices ARE your unique life path

Courage isn’t about freeing yourself of undesirable situations, it’s allowing yourself to step into more of YOU. How’s that for living your life to its fullest, funnest potential? There’s nothing to change, just more of you to discover :)

I’d love to hear about you – when was the last time you acted courageously, whether you realised it at the time or not? Are there some areas of your life where you’re more courageous than others? What’s different there? Looking forward to your insights and experiences. Thanks in advance for sharing!

ps: Do you know someone who could benefit from having a little more faith in themselves? Please do them a kindness and share this post. Many thanks!

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25 Things I wish I’d Learned Sooner in my Life

June 25, 2010 by Tia · 44 Comments
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention, Life, courage 

Back in 1998, fresh out of Grad school and working in my first ever “real” job as an Account Executive in an Advertising agency in New Delhi, I knew.

http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/

I knew that I was going to quit the corporate world within 5 years.

I lasted 4.

Out of which, I probably only worked a total of 23 months and took a lot of time off to travel or experience being in between jobs.

I should have known then, that life in a cubicle wasn’t for me – something fabulous coach Pam Slim knows well. (That’s her book on the right, if you haven’t read it yet, GET it.)

It STILL took another 5 years for me to start my personal development and awareness journey with many twists and turns, to bring me where I am today.

A place of understanding, expansion, trust, happiness, knowing. I have learned, experienced, struggled, loved, lost and finally come home to me.

To the voice that was waiting to be discovered, to the courage I’ve always had but never known, to live life boldly on my own terms.

I don’t regret anything that I did or experienced, not even the painful events of my life and yet, when super awesome blogger Abubakar Jamil asked me to write a post on Things I Wish I’d Known or Learned Earlier in my Life, I was in like Flynn.

While I believe that our experiences are necessary for us to grow and evolve, there are a few gentle reminders that I wish I could have given myself – or should I say, started believing much earlier in my life.

So, knowing what I know now, what would I have told a much younger Tia to absolutely know and trust? What would I tell you?

1) It’s okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. Not being able to pick a career or know what you want to do does not mean that you aren’t “living up to your potential” or wasting your life. One day, it will come together.

Till then, be okay with not knowing. Or, like me, never “grow up” and pick one thing to do for the rest of your life - keep sampling everything you’re passionate about and interested in.

(If you don’t think that’s possible, think again. I’ve made a career out of it. Ask me how tia at coachtia.com)

2) You always have a choice. Even when life isn’t panning out the way you want, you can choose how to respond. Even when you feel completely helpless, you have a choice!

Don’t spend your time thinking you have to do what’s expected of you, wanting to be liked and making decisions based on all the wrong things.

3) You are Loved! When you think you’re all alone in this world, you’re not. You’re never alone or unloved as long as spirit lives within you. If you ever feel alone and needy, step outside and look up at the sky, the zillions of stars above you.

4) Enjoy the in between spaces. The time it takes to make your dreams come true. The periods of singledom. The time spent in relationships. Don’t be in one situation and wish for it to be something else. That is truly a sad waste of time.

Cos you’ll look back one day and wish you were more present, instead of worrying about when things would change. And believe it or not, those are the things you’ll miss :)

5) Everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end. I really truly wish I’d known that when life sucks, it isn’t going to suck forever and all one has to do is wait the wave out. Or better still, grab a surf board and ride the damn thing!

6) Your heart will get broken time and again and just when you feel you can’t take it any more, it will heal. And you’ll find love again.

7) Being selfish is not a bad thing.

8. Trust that feeling in your gut. Those times you said something but felt something else? INTUITION! Your inner guidance system that will never do you wrong. You already know. Trust yourself.

9) Don’t make excuses for who you are. Don’t pretend to like music your friends like, or change your mind, behaviour or tastes to become someone you’re not. If you don’t want a 6 figure salary or the life they want, own it. If you want to make a million dollars, own that too.

Whoever you are, whatever you want, is valid!

10) Scrap some words from your vocabulary - like should, must, but. Create your own. “Happying” “Vortexualising” “Magicking” (some of my faves)

11) It can be scary to be you - but if you stand up and say “this is me”, you give permission to yourself and others. It’s the highest form of self love and acceptance! Embrace your quirks. Be brave. The world needs you to be YOU.

For inspiration, check out Vancouver’s SPANDY ANDY, a man who embodies this 1250%.

http://spandyandy.com/2009/10/20/new-tight-and-bright-gear/

12) Make decisions based on what you want to experience next, NOT on the basis of pros and cons. This is taken from one of my favourite personal development bloggers, Steve Pavlina.

13) Travel will change you. Be prepared to expand and grow like you never thought possible. Oh, and travel – the earlier, the better.

14) Create your own values. Make them yours. Know what makes you happy.

15) You are beautiful, you are loved, you are special. Never let anyone tell you you’re not.

16) Your parents are doing the best they can. Forgive them and quietly listen to your heart to tell you what to do with your life.

17) Failing at something does not make you a failure. Yeah I know how cliched this is and if only I’d believed that when I was younger … something I still struggle with sometimes.

Also, you WILL fail, without fail! And it’s fine to dislike it, as long as it doesn’t stop you from getting back on the horse!

18) Quitting IS an option. The sooner you accept that and stop trying to please everyone, the faster you’ll progress. Check out what Seth Godin has to say about quitting your job and when it’s a good time to quit on other things.

19) Throw tantrums in private. Express yourself fully but don’t take it out on people you love.

20) Some days, you won’t want to get out of bed. That’s ok. It’s normal. You will survive.

21) Nutella makes everything better. It really, truly does. Comfort food rocks!

22) Life is WAY easier if you go with the flow – row your boat downstream. If someone tells you you’re lazy, CELEBRATE. Love your “I’m taking the easy way or no way” attitude and if you don’t have one, cultivate it :)

23) Comparison is the deadliest disease. A little competition is healthy but know this – there is no race, you will not fall behind, there’s no one to catch up to, you have all the time in the world.

This one thing is probably one of your most consistent challenges & requires gentle reminders to self.

24) Don’t be mean. Just don’t.

25) Have more opinions and don’t be scared to share them.

And for a bonus:

Dream more, make up stories of how you want things to be. When people laugh, laugh back at or with them. Years later, they’ll come to YOU for inspiration, advice and insights.



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Over to you – what’s something you wish you’d known earlier? If you enjoyed reading this post and think it could help inspire someone you know, please go right ahead & hit the share / “like” buttons. They & I will love you for it! Thanks!

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Why Raise Your Children to be Entrepreneurs?

June 18, 2010 by Tia · 7 Comments
Filed under: Business, Inspired Action, courage 

It’s a busy week working on rebranding exercises given to me by my Brand Coach, Andrea Shillington.

It’s so much fun seeing new directions emerge, fine tuning services and web content, and getting excited about a particular group of people that I can’t wait to start coaching soon!

In the midst of it all, I found this video that a new connection on twitter made a couple of months ago.

Cameron Herold, a Vancouver based businessman gave a Ted Talk in Edmonton called “How to Raise Your Children to be Entrepreneurs”.

I loved it SO much that I’m sharing it here with you.

Why is this topic so important?

Many reasons, 2 of which I’ll outline:

1) Because I believe in Entrepreneurship. And kids.

2) Because You believe in Entrepreneurship. And kids.

In teaching younger generations that it’s vital to think for themselves and encouraging them to find their passions as early as possible.

We, you and I, are in a position to do that for them.

To help and to learn from them.

As kids we think everything is possible, the world is our Oyster. As grown ups, we forget.

Let this be a reminder to you.

  • What would your life have been if your parents had taught you entrepreneurial traits?
  • And if they did, how have you benefited, what have you learned that the rest of us are just learning?
  • If you could have a do over, what would you do differently to raise your child?
  • What do you wish you’d been encouraged to do more?

These are some of the questions popping up in my mind after watching this vid.

Thanks Cameron, for an excellent talk.

I’m stoked to share this with the rad, cool, forward thinking readers of this blog. I hope you all enjoy his story & when you finish, please leave a comment telling me what you’re thinking.



Would love to hear what your views on this are and how YOU encourage your children to think outside the box.

What would you want your child to learn and know about life, passion and careers?

Let’s get this conversation started!

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Lessons from the Blackhawks Stanley Cup Win

June 9, 2010 by Tia · 7 Comments
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention, Law of Attraction, Passion, courage 

Source: Reuters.com: NHL Stanley Cup 2010 Winners - Chicago Blackhawks

I just finished watching the Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup Finals.

For those of you who aren’t hockey crazed (or Canadian), the Stanley Cup is the Holy Grail of Hockey, the National Hockey League’s most salivated after prize in the Hockey world. Ever. Not counting the Olympics.

Ok, WHAT am I doing talking about Hockey on this blog?

Bear with me just a minute.

(Apart from the fact that 5 of the team players from the Hawks are British Columbia boys and more than half the team is Canadian) – It’s something I heard Rocky Wirtz, the owner of the team, say.

When asked whether he knew that the Hawks were going to win or how he knew that, he said something like:

“If we had set the bar low, we would have met it. So we set the bar high. And we met it.“

(Creative liberties may have been taken with the wordage.)

That’s 49 years of a winless drought, leading to a spectacular, hard fought win. Summed up in these 2 sentences.

It reminded me of a post where fellow coach Jeannette talked about Sean McHugh being laid off by the Detroit Lions & being picked up by the Pittsburgh Steelers.

He said there was an expectation when you become a Pittsburgh Steeler that you’re going to win. Something he hadn’t felt in his old team.

Which was evident in how those two teams became the worst and the best in the Football World Cup NFL series in 2009.

Ever heard the saying “reach for the moon, for if you do you might reach the stars”? You can see where I’m going with this, right?

You see, you get what you expect.

When you set an intention to be the best, to go for Gold, to win, you are setting yourself up for success.

People often rise (or fall) to the expectations we have of them.

If you’re a parent who tells your child he’ll never be good at math just like his mama or hasn’t a creative bone in her body, guess what’s going to happen?

On the flip side, if you look for the best in someone, you’re going to find the best in them.

How many times have you looked at your partner / boss / friend / employee and wished there was something they’d say or do differently? And the more you focused on what you didn’t like about them, the more they seemed to perpetrate that action.

Till the day you decide to stop noticing what you don’t like and start paying attention to what you Do like. And lo, presto! It’s reflected in their behaviour, almost overnight, af if by magic?

Now, let’s turn this inwards to YOU.

What do you expect to have happen in your life? What about on a daily basis?

I’m not talking about being the best or winning or being hard on yourself with “unrealistic” expectations to be perfect.

This goes beyond “just winning” (although I’m sure the Blackhawks feel differently about that and I sure was over the moon when Canada won Olympic Hockey Gold in February this year!).

This is about awareness.

About setting intentions.

About believing in yourself.

In your worth, your ability, your deserving-ness to live the life you want..

Being daring enough to think big, not letting the yeah, buts & fears stop you.

If you don’t dream big, what chance do you ever have of making those dreams come true? If you want a no holds barred life and you’re busy focused on the ways in which you’re tied down, how do you expect to fly?

A good test to see whether you’ve been dreaming powerfully is to look at your life right now.

  • What about it do you love?
  • What do you wish was different?
  • What do you believe you can have?
  • Is there a limit ie, have you got a set point where you stop dreaming?
  • What have you done about it?

If you want more than you’ve allowed yourself to dream or have, whose permission are you waiting to get? You need no one to tell you you can have it all. No one but you.

If you’ve allowed other people to tell you what you can or cannot achieve, if you’ve been playing small, squishing your dreams and resigning yourself to never having everything that you want, I want you to stop right now!

STOP it, stop it, stop it.

Stop setting the bar so low. What makes an NHL or Olympic winning team so very different from you?

Natural talent and physical prowess aside, none of these teams would have gotten to where they are if they didn’t DREAM big, intend & visualise their dreams coming true and take Inspired Action to make them happen.

Action without Intention is a misguided missile.

Start creating the life of freedom, happiness, abundance, love, travel, connection, joy and clarity that you want and deserve.

Start by setting the bar high, to what that means for you.

Not what someone else wants for you, but what YOU want for you. No one’s laughing, no one’s judging.

Reach for the moon, the stars, the top of the trees, reach for what your heart truly desires!

You have permission.

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One year Review & Rebranding Survey

May 28, 2010 by Tia · 8 Comments
Filed under: Business, Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention, Passion, courage 

Hey you!

I really appreciate you.

For being here, for reading, commenting, letting me into your world.

You are very, very awesome and I’m honoured by your presence, THANK YOU!

If you’ve been reading a while, you may have noticed that this blog’s growing up. If you’re new here, read on anyways to see what’s happening.

I’ve been thinking of rebranding the Coach T.I.A website since it turned 6 months old in Sept 09 and it’s all coming to a crucial point – Inspired Action is leading to this next step.

(When it started a year ago, we (the blog and I) were both finding our feet and talking about our passions, which included and still do, Law of Attraction, Inspired Action, Personal Development, coaching etc).

As time’s gone by, I’ve also become quite interested in other topics like -

  • Creating relationships using the Power of Social Media
  • Tribes – finding, creating and being a part of something bigger
  • Entrepreneurship & Business building
  • Living a life of courage and authenticity
  • Boldness! Standing out and making a stand for core values
  • Being Intentional – in personal & professional ways

The scope is broader and wider now.

So even as I prepare to launch a new site (on social media for coaches), I’m rebranding this one to reflect the year’s learning that I’ve grown into.

Now, I really need YOUR help to suss out what you want more of, what you need less of, what YOU WANT, period.

Because you are the reason this blog and website exist.

The changes I make, will reflect you as much as they do me. So please, pretty pretty please take 30 seconds of your time now to answer 5 short questions in this survey.

Thanks, SO looking forward to your input on this one. You rock! Tia

Click here: Review & Rebranding Survey 2010

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