Take Down the White Flag and Other Timeless Life Lessons

by Tia on April 17, 2012 · 42 comments

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Hey sparklepeeps! Here’s a short & snappy guest post + giveaway for you from Alex Blackwell of The Bridgemaker. Read on to see how to win a copy of this book – especially if you KNOW your life needs to change or is already changing and you could do with some support through it ~ xo, Tia.

When Tia invited me to write a guest post, she asked me to focus on one life lesson found in my new book, Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change.

A little unfair if you ask me, because I love them all.

But she’s the boss here, right?

Just to share the difficulty of Tia’s assignment, here are all ten timeless life lessons:

  • One: Prepare Your Soul for Change (ready your mind and heart for the journey)
  • Two: Find Freedom from Pain (let go of the painful memories to find happiness)
  • Three: Listen to Your Inner Philosopher (stay confident when facing doubt)
  • Four: Recognize Your Beauty (accept and love your true self)
  • Five: Learn To Live Without Asterisks (place no limits on the life waiting for you)
  • Six: Be Inspired By Love (create and sustain loving, positive relationships)
  • Seven: Live Beyond Your Skin (learn new tools for dealing with negative people)
  • Eight: Find the Brighter Side of Failure (find value in everything that happens)
  • Nine: Take Down the White Flag (replace the lie with the truth)
  • Ten: Let Faith be Your Guide (learn to walk by faith)

After a little soul searching, I landed on the lesson that seems to lend its power to me whenever I need it most. This lesson inspires me, makes me feel strong on the days I feel weak and provides a stirring cheer.

It’s Lesson Nine: Take Down the White Flag.

I’m tempted to raise the white flag in defeat when I begin listening to the enemy of my soul.

The enemy waits patiently and then whispers the lie he knows will persuade me to give up: “You don’t deserve it. You can’t possibly achieve it. So, why bother?”

There have been plenty of times when I listened to the lie and raised the white flag.

I wish I didn’t quit the high school baseball team.
I wish I didn’t give up on going to medical school.
I wish I stood up for myself more often.

All times when I could hear the white flag flapping in the wind. But, today the lesson I’m learning is a simple one: Replace the lie with the truth.

My truth speaks the words that inspire me to never give up -

You are worthy to receive your heart’s desire. You can achieve it. Go be the person you were created to be. Take down the white flag. Raise hope for all to see. Listen to your new flag flapping in the wind and be nourished by its sound.

Check in with yourself – where are you letting lies stop you from doing what you desire? And what is possible when you take down that flag and fight on?

Along with this life lesson, I wanted to share a few more that don’t appear in my book, but have contributed to the positive change I’m finding and the happiness it brings:

  • Live right now
    You can’t change the past or control the future, but you can give your mind, heart and soul to what is happening right now.
  • Trust recovers slowly
    When temptation wins over common sense, trust will return, but cautiously. Be patient. Wait for it. And when trust recovers, put it in a safe place and away from what you know will challenge it again.
  • Ask to be carried
    When you feel weary, allow yourself to fall into the arms of someone stronger and asked to be carried.
  • You see what you create
    In misery you see the enemy; in grace you see the possibility.
  • Faith never lets go
    The next time you fell like giving up, extend your hand; the first thing you grab will be your faith. Hold on to it and know it will always hold on to you.
  • It’s not about where you’ve been; it’s about where you will be taken
    Your past doesn’t define who you can be in this moment. Use the present, this very second, to decide who you want to be and then start heading in that direction.
  • There is love or fear
    You have a choice: Live in love or live in fear. There is no in-between.

The choice is always yours.

Alex Blackwell is the Founder of The BridgeMaker. His first book, Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change is now available on Amazon. You can also connect with Alex on Facebook.

To win a copy of Alex’s book, simply let us know a life lesson YOU have learned (not necessarily one of his) in the comments below and we’ll pick a winner next week, April 24th!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

42 comments

Shortcuts to Inner Peace Book Giveaway Winner!

by Tia on March 19, 2012

Thanks to all 30 of you who left amazing comments and entered to win a copy of Ashley Davis Bush’s book Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity.

Glad you got a TON of value and great tips on how to have more peace and happiness in your life.

What!? You haven’t read it yet?

Click here NOW for 10 KICKASS Shortcuts to Inner Peace that you can use anytime, anyplace!

The winner, # 1 on the list as chosen by a random.org drawing, is …

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…………..

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…………………………………… Maria Luisa Vidal!!

 

Congrats, Maria Vidal!

Send me an email with your mailing address at tia at coachtia dot com and we’ll have the book on the way to you! Thanks for playing and being a part of the YLYW community :)

And thanks Ashley for the great post and generous book giveaway.

You rock. You ALL rock!

Stay updated for future giveaways ~ sign up to the Weekly Awesome Tuesday Email + special updates list below & come join 12,014 other multi-passionate Scanners aka polymaths aka renaissance people aka multi-potential, multi-talented, sparklers also known as Sparklepants awesomeface people on Facebook!

Multi-passionate.. whaatt? Oh, like that is it? Read this. Thank me later.

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10 Simple Tips & Shortcuts to Inner Peace & Joy

by Tia on March 9, 2012 · 91 comments

Guest Post by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW. Scroll to the end for a chance to win a copy of her book Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity. Winner chosen on March 19th.

Does your life feel “crazy” and “nonstop”?

Is your mind always busy?  Does it feel like stress is your constant companion?  Do you long for some quiet, for just a little inner peace in your life?

Opening to Joy

Although stress and anxiety seem to be caused by our circumstances, in reality, stress is caused by our response to our circumstances.  The good news is that we can learn to change how we respond to challenging situations. We can learn healthy, easy exercises that will calm our stressful thinking and redirect our experience to one of gratitude, acceptance and joy.

What are Shortcuts to Inner Peace?

But who has the time for lengthy exercises, right?  That’s the beauty of the Shortcuts.

Shortcuts are simple, brief mindfulness exercises that are easy to integrate because they are prompted by ordinary, everyday activities and experiences.  You’ll find that they are daily stepping stones to access your innate inner peace no matter how busy or hectic your life.

Shortcuts are designed take us off autopilot

Shortcuts to inner peace create a restorative pause in our usual fast pace.  They quickly become new habits and, through repetition, actually change the way our brains respond to stressful situations.

So use these 10 Shortcuts to experience more peace and less stress in your life . . . starting today!

Shortcuts to Quiet the Busy Mind

1) Freeze Frame  To do when you drink your coffee or tea in the morning:

As you take your first sip, pause for a moment, take a deep breath, freeze the frame (make a mental camera click sound), and think, Life is good. Notice, breathe, absorb, and savor the tastes as well as the moment. Develop this happiness habit with every drink throughout the day.

This tool creates a “pause” which momentarily stops the physical and emotional spiral of the day.

2) Go with the Flow  To do when washing your hands:

Whenever you’re at a sink and touch water, let the stream of liquid cue you to say, “I go with the flow” or “I trust the universe” or “I have faith in the flow of what is.”  This exercise reminds you to let go and flow with the current of life.

With this tool we remember the peaceful power of acceptance.

Shortcuts for Gentle Transitions

3) Shakedown  To do when you come home at the end of the day: 

Before you walk through the door, spend a moment “shaking down” your body, as if you are shaking off water. Shake your right and left legs and feet. Shake your right and left arms and hands.  Finish by gently shaking your head and letting your shoulders relax.  Take a deep breath and heave a hearty sigh.

When we clear or shake off energy from our days, we restore ourselves to a place of calm so that we can be present at home.

4) Rest in Peace  To do when your head rests on the pillow at night

As you rest, review your day and think of three things that happened for which you are grateful.  Actively recall each instance and re-create the experience of it.  Hold the feeling and imagine yourself as a sponge, letting the memory sink into you.

By reflecting on moments of joy during your days, you create a habit of positivity and you become increasingly more joyful and more peaceful.

Shortcuts to Open Your Heart

5) Stop, Drop, and Roll  To do when stopped at a red light.

“Stop,” “drop” down into your heart, and “roll” out a little goodwill and open heartedness to those around you. Look at the pedestrians and the people in other cars all around you, and recognize that each one of them is just like you: They want joy and they want to be free from suffering.

Connect for a brief moment and wish them well. Focus on one person at a time and say or think something like:  May you know happiness. Peace be with you. I hope you have a nice day.

Warm feelings toward others activate the calming aspects of our own nervous systems and offers us a deeper sense of inner peace.

6) Remember This  To do when you’re stuck in a line or have an unexpected wait 

Ask to yourself, “what do I need to remember”? Keep asking yourself this question until you get a substantial answer like “I need to remember what really matters in life,” “I need to remember how lucky I am to have healthy children,” “I need to remember that on my deathbed, none of these worries will matter.”

When the answer comes to you, feel the emotions behind the remembrances and let them flood your body. Redirecting our thoughts to life’s big priorities helps snap us out of patterns of stressful thinking.

Shortcuts for Reactive Relationships

7) Take 5  To do when you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with someone

Breathe in through your nose to the count of five. Feel the air as it comes through your nose and expands into your lungs. Hold your breath to the count of five and then purse your lips and exhale long and slow through your mouth.  Repeat several times.

When you redirect your mind to an awareness of our breath, you create a moment of calm in which inner peace can bloom.

8 ) Cheesecloth  To do when you’re in a crowded, loud environment or when you’re being faced with a hostile encounter.

Breathe in deeply and imagine yourself becoming a porous fabric, and let the fluid world—all sights and sounds—pass through you. Breathe out slowly and observe as words, insults, and emotions float through and around you while you remain unattached and nonreactive.

Watching that energy wash over us without consequence trains our brains to be nonreactive and lets us move into a place of peace.

Shortcuts to Connect with Spirit

9) Daily Dose  To do in the morning just before getting out of bed. 

As you lie in bed, state an affirmation as a form of mindful intention. Begin with a deep breath. As you breathe out, say, “I am peaceful today” or “I experience inner peace throughout my day.”

Say it in the present tense as if it is already happening and let yourself feel that peace sink down deep inside you.  Think of this Shortcut as a morning “peace pill.”

When we take a moment to set our intention on calm, we set the day off on a trajectory of peacefulness and we break the cycle of automatic morning thoughts.

10) Big Sky   To do when you get in the car or before you get on public transportation.

Look to the sky . . . contemplate the vast space, the details in the clouds and imagine beyond the blue sky to our solar system and beyond. “Breathe” in the sky, “breathe” in the spaciousness, and as you exhale slowly, say, “The spaciousness above is mirrored within me.”

When we remind ourselves that we are a tiny and vital piece to the puzzle, our worries become pretty “small stuff.”

Ashley Davis Bush is a psychotherapist and the author of three self help books including Shortcuts to Inner Peace:  70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity and Transcending Loss. 

She facilitates and posts daily on three Facebook support sites, one for grievers, one for those seeking inner peace and another for couples looking to increase their emotional intimacy.

Find her on Twitter, Youtube, & LinkedIn.

What’s your favourite shortcut to peace? Tell us and you could win a copy of Ashley’s book!

For additional chances to win, tweet / like / pin / stumble this post & let us know you did in the comments below. A winner will be chosen on March 19th.  

91 comments

Why You’re A Brilliant Diamond In The Making

by Tia on February 27, 2012 · 11 comments

Guest post from Natalie Sisson, The Suitcase Entrepreneur. Natalie’s a Business & Social Media Coach from New Zealand, who lives and works on her own terms all over the world.

Did anyone ever tell you that your idea was not going to fly, that you couldn’t possibly do that `thing’ you were planning, and that you couldn’t have your cake and eat it too?

I seriously hope you graciously told them where to stick it.

This world is full of too many people making excuses for not living life on their own terms. Whenever people doubt your abilities or tell you something can’t be done, they are in fact projecting their own fears on to you.

Worst of all is that little voice in your mind that says those sorts of things to you on a daily basis – if you let it.

Things like `You know you’re not really good enough at this, there are far more talented people out there than you’. Or `why did you think you could charge that much, you’re not an expert, nobody will ever pay you that much’.

I know it’s hard, telling your inner critic to shut-up or your lizard brain to back off. But you absolutely have to.

There is another way

Whenever I get struck by fear, or think I can’t possibly pull something off, I simply look at my guiding values in life. For me, these are to create freedom in business and adventure in life.

Not just for myself but for my community of fellow Suitcase Entrepreneurs who look to me for inspiration and motivation on a daily basis.

Imagine if I had talked myself out of starting my business almost 2 years ago?

  • I would never have had the opportunities that I’m presented with now or the thriving business I love
  • I would never have had the ability to make a difference in other peoples’ lives
  • Or felt the joy I get when I receive emails from people who tell me how I touched their lives or got them thinking, taking action and starting their business

I had no idea how to blog, and even though I had 10 years experience in marketing, that is completely different to online marketing and understanding the art of the internet and e-commerce.

Yet, I backed myself – or more rather gave myself no choice other than to fail fast or gloriously succeed.

Yes, I had to become accustomed to and accepting of failing – a LOT.

Each time it gets a little easier. Your ego bruises less easily, you learn the lessons from the failure and apply them to be more successful the next time.

Failure Is Your Friend

It may seem like a strange concept to you, but think about Edison who failed 1,000 times before inventing the lightbulb. Imagine not giving up on your idea despite having 1,000 failures?

Yet he knew each time that he was getting one step closer to producing something brilliant.

The thing is, anything worth doing, anything that will make you proud and make a big impact on others, is not going to be easy. It’s not just going to come to you overnight and be a breeze to implement.

Nope it’s going to take hard work, sweat, blood, tears, determination and a huge amount of self belief.

It’s going to take setbacks, cost money, and be `pooh-poohed’ by those who love you most, or others who just don’t get it (but I get it, I know your brilliance even if it’s currently a diamond in the rough).

The trick is knowing when you’re making progress towards succeeding, or if you’re flogging a dead horse.

There are times when you need to let go of your idea, especially if you really are seeing no traction in what you’re doing and it’s not a problem or challenge that many people face and actually will pay you money to solve.

That’s the only exception.

Discovering your diamond

So back to your diamond in the rough.

I love this analogy because you’d never realize what gorgeous gem was buried in cold, hard rock until you had lovingly extracted it, continued to refine and buff it and finally polish it up into a sparkling beauty.

This is what you should be doing with your life, and your business!

Each day you should be working on ways to take off those rough edges and bring out the true brilliance in you.

Some of the simple ways to do this are by

  • focusing on the things you’re doing really well, and
  • congratulating yourself each day for one thing you did that you’re proud of – no matter how small.

When you feel flat or like you’re not getting anywhere pull up those testimonials you’ve received or those glowing emails from customers, friends and strangers that instantly make you remember why you’re doing what you do, day in and day out.

You can even look at the meaning behind a well intentioned criticism and what you can apply from their feedback to do even better next time.

It’s looking for the nuggets of insight that will help you to know you’re on the right track, that you’re making a difference and leaving a legacy.

Baby You’re A Firework

How can you not love Katy Perry’s song `Baby you’re a firework, come on show them what you’re worth’?

It’s your time to light up the sky with your brilliance.

Now you’ve discovered your diamond and polished it up, you need to wear that bling out and show off the sparkle and bling!

I see too many people being ordinary, quashing their talents and unique abilities because they don’t want to come across as tacky, or salesy or too self promotional.

I get that, but the one thing you are responsible in this world is putting your best foot forward. You need to become an expert online marketer.

Marketing yourself is key to everything you do and you can do it in an ethical, loving and inspiring way. But quit playing small, quit hiding and quit being average.

As Marianne Williamson so rightly said: 

“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

Have YOU had people try to stop you from following your dream? What did you do? Thanks for sharing! 

Natalie Sisson is the Founder of The Suitcase Entrepreneur – a highly popular blog that shows entrepreneurs how to build a thriving online business they can run from anywhere. The focus is on creating freedom in business and adventure using online tools, social media and outsourcing to set up a portable business that allows you to live the lifestyle you desire.

Natalie lives and breathes what she preaches which is why she’s able to take off to Africa this March to cycle 6,445km from Nairobi to Capetown. If you’d like to follow her journey and support her mission to raise $10,000 for WomenWin.org then head to The Ride of my life.

Stay connected ~

1. Sign up here for weekly Tuesday inspiration updates right in your inbox (and 2 free eBooks ~ 10 top KICKASS ways to stop procrastinating + 120 Most Inspiring Quotes for 2012).

2. Join the Facebook page  for daily inspiration & coaching tips. Xoxo, Tia

11 comments

How do you know when to call it quits in your job?

by Tia on February 15, 2012 · 17 comments

Guest Post from Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living. Farnoosh has an awesome 6 week course starting Feb 20th to help you create a smart exit strategy from your job. Check it out at the end of the post!

How Do You Know When to Call it Quits: On Your job and Other Distractions from Your Purpose

I look back and wonder exactly when I tipped the scales, from being tolerant of my job to refusing to give another hour of service to a company that I no longer believed in (and I promise to tell you the answer in a minute).

There are so many intricacies to every relationship and the relationship you have with your job is no different. There are good days and there are bad days and so long as there is love and mutual respect and understanding, you willingly stay.

But when love has taken leave and your heart is longing to fulfill its multiple passions, when you count the hours until you are away from your workplace, and when you simply dread the thought of going into work, it is high time to think about quitting with grace and smarts.

Every relationship comes to an end.

If we are lucky, we take some of them all the way to our dying day but that’s highly unlikely with most of them.

And when the relationship with your job comes to an end, instead of holding on to it, overstaying your welcome and destroying every excitement you held about work, you need to exit gracefully, holding your head up high as you move on to the next fabulous adventure of your life.

Yet, the resistance surrounding this ideal scenario I just painted is not uncommon.

  • First, there is the fear of leaving a “secure” job, except that nothing is secure and realistically, a job is far less secure than holding your future in your own hands.
  • Second, the fear of the unknown and the uncertainty ahead but honestly, there is uncertainty in every single day and hour of our life and yet somehow, the idea of employment manages to magically mask that on large scales. Trust me, you are not safe from uncertainty by holding on to a job.
  • Third, the terrifying idea of change – change of schedule and people and routine and environment, combined with anxieties of not knowing how to cope with said change.

But you are a human being.

You were made to be fierce and strong and survive in the wild.

Your ancestors fought tigers and lions and hunted for food in the jungles. Surely, you can arm yourself with courage enough to go out there in this modern world full of possibility and demand of yourself to bring your passions to life and build profits around them.

Your passions can be anything – it may very well be to become a corporate star or a Fortune 100 CEO or it may be to have a fabulous family and raise stand-up citizens that will change the course of history.

Whatever lies at the core of your heart is your passion and there is a way to turn that into an income and a profit if you choose to believe so.

You have an obligation to give yourself a chance, a true chance at happiness because no one in this world will do that for you and how could they?

No one knows you as well as you know yourself.

You owe it to yourself to pursue your passions at least once and to do something that you believe in at least once, before giving up on life and resigning to status quo. You deserve as much of a chance as your own role models and heroes that live the kind of lifestyle that speaks to you.

And you owe it to yourself to see that potential through and really push yourself to reach the dreams that you have secretly been nurturing.

One thing is for certain: you cannot do any of this when you stay in a place that is not aligned to your dreams, your values and your purpose. So have a little faith and a lot of courage. Believe in your ability to make smart decisions.

Start with creating a smart exit plan out of that place to one where you can truly thrive and prosper and where your gifts can really shine.

I have put together a 6-week step-by-step course to help you build a smart exit strategy out of the wrong job and into the right path (affiliate link).

When I was making my way out of Corporate America, no such resource was available to help me think through the practical steps of making a professional transition. No one could tell me the how of leaving. It took me weeks to put together a plan that made sense.

What I learned plus 4 months of research since then have turned into a massive course that prepares any of you going through this difficult transition. It will arm you with everything you need to make a professional move from the wrong job into the right place!

As to what tipped the scale for me, it was not the extreme boredom, or the awareness that I was in the wrong job or even the money as a means for survival.

It was the fact that I was in too much pain doing what went so against my values and my heart.

I could no longer stand another hour wasting my limited time and energy in this world. Pain, then, not boredom, tipped the scales for me and I gave up everything to build my own company and have not looked back once.

My word of caution: Don’t wait quite that long! Build your smart exit blueprint today.

So here’s my question to you, dear reader – how did YOU know it was time to quit your job and what made you finally do it? Any advice for those seeking a career change? Thanks for sharing!


Farnoosh Brock left a 12-year career at a Fortune 100 company for her pursuits in writing, coaching, blogging and building her company. She talks about smart habits for rich living with a focus on helping people create a smart exit strategy out of the wrong job to their true path. Grab the free 14 weekly power career tips & uncensored corporate escape advice here.

17 comments

50 Top Tips & Best Ways to use Pinterest for Business

January 28, 2012 Life Design

What is pinterest?  Simply put, it’s a virtual, all over the interwebs, ginormous pin board that is even more addictive than Facebook,as if such a thing was possible. As I found out 3.5 weeks ago, after ignoring my invite for 3 months. “Pinterest lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on [...]

94 comments Click here to read the rest!

11 Questions you’re NOT asking that could change your life

January 16, 2012 Life Design

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain. When Jayson Krause’s best friend died of cancer in September 2005, he realised that [...]

45 comments Click here to read the rest!

5 Ways to Quit the Confusion & Find Your Passion

September 1, 2011 Life Design

What are you passionate about? I asked this question in my last post about life, death and passion. Amidst the responses here and in my inbox from people who knew what they loved and wanted, were some who didn’t. I don’t believe there’s a single person on Earth who ISN’T passionate, who didn’t have a [...]

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75 Most Inspirational Kickass Quotes on Life, Love, Happiness, Change & Growth.

September 6, 2011 Life Design

I share inspiring pictorial quotes 2-3 times a week at the Your Life YOUR Way facebook page  (click the link to join) and have collected 75 of the best kickass inspirational quotes on life, love, happiness & growth that I’ve found. Feel free to bookmark this post & visit anytime for inspiration! ps: I’ve spent hours creating this post, looking for [...]

192 comments Click here to read the rest!

75 Most Empowering, Inspirational Quotes for Sassy, Kickass Women

October 10, 2011 Life Design

For the kickass women of the world. Those that are, and those that are growing up to be. The daughters. The mothers. The sisters. The fribblings – friends like siblings. The wives. The girlfriends. The aunts. The nieces. The grand-somethings. The young uns. The teens. The women in your life. Who love, lose, cry. Laugh, heal, thrive. Nurture. [...]

55 comments Click here to read the rest!

300. Reasons to be happy. Things to love about your life. NOW.

September 19, 2011 Life Design

One evening, a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside people’s heads. He said, “My son, the battle is between the two ‘wolves’ that live inside us all. One is unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is happiness. It is joy, love, [...]

73 comments Click here to read the rest!

The Monks and the Monkey Mind

November 21, 2011 Life Design

A tale of two monks and a mind monkey… you’ve probably read this before, but I reckon you or someone you know could do with a reminder. I know I did! Two Buddhist Monks were on a journey, one was a senior monk, the other a junior monk. During their journey they approached a raging [...]

12 comments Click here to read the rest!

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