25 Things I wish I’d Learned Sooner in my Life

June 25, 2010 by Tia · 44 Comments
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention, Life YOUR Way, courage 

Back in 1998, fresh out of Grad school and working in my first ever “real” job as an Account Executive in an Advertising agency in New Delhi, I knew.

http://www.escapefromcubiclenation.com/

I knew that I was going to quit the corporate world within 5 years.

I lasted 4.

Out of which, I probably only worked a total of 23 months and took a lot of time off to travel or experience being in between jobs.

I should have known then, that life in a cubicle wasn’t for me – something fabulous coach Pam Slim knows well. (That’s her book on the right, if you haven’t read it yet, GET it.)

It STILL took another 5 years for me to start my personal development and awareness journey with many twists and turns, to bring me where I am today.

A place of understanding, expansion, trust, happiness, knowing. I have learned, experienced, struggled, loved, lost and finally come home to me.

To the voice that was waiting to be discovered, to the courage I’ve always had but never known, to live life boldly on my own terms.

I don’t regret anything that I did or experienced, not even the painful events of my life and yet, when super awesome blogger Abubakar Jamil asked me to write a post on Things I Wish I’d Known or Learned Earlier in my Life, I was in like Flynn.

While I believe that our experiences are necessary for us to grow and evolve, there are a few gentle reminders that I wish I could have given myself – or should I say, started believing much earlier in my life.

So, knowing what I know now, what would I have told a much younger Tia to absolutely know and trust? What would I tell you?

1) It’s okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up. Not being able to pick a career or know what you want to do does not mean that you aren’t “living up to your potential” or wasting your life. One day, it will come together.

Till then, be okay with not knowing. Or, like me, never “grow up” and pick one thing to do for the rest of your life - keep sampling everything you’re passionate about and interested in.

(If you don’t think that’s possible, think again. I’ve made a career out of it. Ask me how tia at coachtia.com)

2) You always have a choice. Even when life isn’t panning out the way you want, you can choose how to respond. Even when you feel completely helpless, you have a choice!

Don’t spend your time thinking you have to do what’s expected of you, wanting to be liked and making decisions based on all the wrong things.

3) You are Loved! When you think you’re all alone in this world, you’re not. You’re never alone or unloved as long as spirit lives within you. If you ever feel alone and needy, step outside and look up at the sky, the zillions of stars above you.

4) Enjoy the in between spaces. The time it takes to make your dreams come true. The periods of singledom. The time spent in relationships. Don’t be in one situation and wish for it to be something else. That is truly a sad waste of time.

Cos you’ll look back one day and wish you were more present, instead of worrying about when things would change. And believe it or not, those are the things you’ll miss :)

5) Everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end. I really truly wish I’d known that when life sucks, it isn’t going to suck forever and all one has to do is wait the wave out. Or better still, grab a surf board and ride the damn thing!

6) Your heart will get broken time and again and just when you feel you can’t take it any more, it will heal. And you’ll find love again.

7) Being selfish is not a bad thing.

8. Trust that feeling in your gut. Those times you said something but felt something else? INTUITION! Your inner guidance system that will never do you wrong. You already know. Trust yourself.

9) Don’t make excuses for who you are. Don’t pretend to like music your friends like, or change your mind, behaviour or tastes to become someone you’re not. If you don’t want a 6 figure salary or the life they want, own it. If you want to make a million dollars, own that too.

Whoever you are, whatever you want, is valid!

10) Scrap some words from your vocabulary - like should, must, but. Create your own. “Happying” “Vortexualising” “Magicking” (some of my faves)

11) It can be scary to be you - but if you stand up and say “this is me”, you give permission to yourself and others. It’s the highest form of self love and acceptance! Embrace your quirks. Be brave. The world needs you to be YOU.

For inspiration, check out Vancouver’s SPANDY ANDY, a man who embodies this 1250%.

http://spandyandy.com/2009/10/20/new-tight-and-bright-gear/

12) Make decisions based on what you want to experience next, NOT on the basis of pros and cons. This is taken from one of my favourite personal development bloggers, Steve Pavlina.

13) Travel will change you. Be prepared to expand and grow like you never thought possible. Oh, and travel – the earlier, the better.

14) Create your own values. Make them yours. Know what makes you happy.

15) You are beautiful, you are loved, you are special. Never let anyone tell you you’re not.

16) Your parents are doing the best they can. Forgive them and quietly listen to your heart to tell you what to do with your life.

17) Failing at something does not make you a failure. Yeah I know how cliched this is and if only I’d believed that when I was younger … something I still struggle with sometimes.

Also, you WILL fail, without fail! And it’s fine to dislike it, as long as it doesn’t stop you from getting back on the horse!

18) Quitting IS an option. The sooner you accept that and stop trying to please everyone, the faster you’ll progress. Check out what Seth Godin has to say about quitting your job and when it’s a good time to quit on other things.

19) Throw tantrums in private. Express yourself fully but don’t take it out on people you love.

20) Some days, you won’t want to get out of bed. That’s ok. It’s normal. You will survive.

21) Nutella makes everything better. It really, truly does. Comfort food rocks!

22) Life is WAY easier if you go with the flow – row your boat downstream. If someone tells you you’re lazy, CELEBRATE. Love your “I’m taking the easy way or no way” attitude and if you don’t have one, cultivate it :)

23) Comparison is the deadliest disease. A little competition is healthy but know this – there is no race, you will not fall behind, there’s no one to catch up to, you have all the time in the world.

This one thing is probably one of your most consistent challenges & requires gentle reminders to self.

24) Don’t be mean. Just don’t.

25) Have more opinions and don’t be scared to share them.

And for a bonus:

Dream more, make up stories of how you want things to be. When people laugh, laugh back at or with them. Years later, they’ll come to YOU for inspiration, advice and insights.



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Over to you – what’s something you wish you’d known earlier? If you enjoyed reading this post and think it could help inspire someone you know, please go right ahead & hit the share / “like” buttons. They & I will love you for it! Thanks!

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Why Raise Your Children to be Entrepreneurs?

June 18, 2010 by Tia · 7 Comments
Filed under: Business, Inspired Action, courage 

It’s a busy week working on rebranding exercises given to me by my Brand Coach, Andrea Shillington.

It’s so much fun seeing new directions emerge, fine tuning services and web content, and getting excited about a particular group of people that I can’t wait to start coaching soon!

In the midst of it all, I found this video that a new connection on twitter made a couple of months ago.

Cameron Herold, a Vancouver based businessman gave a Ted Talk in Edmonton called “How to Raise Your Children to be Entrepreneurs”.

I loved it SO much that I’m sharing it here with you.

Why is this topic so important?

Many reasons, 2 of which I’ll outline:

1) Because I believe in Entrepreneurship. And kids.

2) Because You believe in Entrepreneurship. And kids.

In teaching younger generations that it’s vital to think for themselves and encouraging them to find their passions as early as possible.

We, you and I, are in a position to do that for them.

To help and to learn from them.

As kids we think everything is possible, the world is our Oyster. As grown ups, we forget.

Let this be a reminder to you.

  • What would your life have been if your parents had taught you entrepreneurial traits?
  • And if they did, how have you benefited, what have you learned that the rest of us are just learning?
  • If you could have a do over, what would you do differently to raise your child?
  • What do you wish you’d been encouraged to do more?

These are some of the questions popping up in my mind after watching this vid.

Thanks Cameron, for an excellent talk.

I’m stoked to share this with the rad, cool, forward thinking readers of this blog. I hope you all enjoy his story & when you finish, please leave a comment telling me what you’re thinking.



Would love to hear what your views on this are and how YOU encourage your children to think outside the box.

What would you want your child to learn and know about life, passion and careers?

Let’s get this conversation started!

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How To Get Out Of a Funk INSTANTLY!

June 12, 2010 by Tia · 19 Comments
Filed under: Fun, Inspired Action, Intention, Law of Attraction, happiness, love 

I spend a lot of time “hanging out” at the Good Vibe University, my fave Law of Attraction & Conscious Creation resource, where a fellow GVUer just started the coolest thread ever.

It’s such a happy, joy inducing thread that I got inspired to start one here.

Behold, the secret weapon! A quick, fast, easy, simple and super fun way to get out of a funk / make a bad day turn awesome:

Take a trip down memory lane.

(Thank you Robert!)

I’ll start us off with a list of some of my favourite memories, feel free to use them as a feel-good tool anytime you want but even better, add yours to the list after you’re done reading!

  • Lying on the lawn with my mom, dad and brother after dinner, counting stars and pointing out constellations – I always looked for the Big Dipper and North Star
  • My favourite Uncle surprising us with visits on his military breaks. Oh HOW my brother and I would squeal and scream and jump all over him when we came home from school and found out he was there!
  • Hiding behind curtains watching my parents dance at parties
  • Playing Monopoly surrounded by a ton of 5 star Cadbury chocolates that my Uncle would bring us. There was never a game of Monopoly played with more enthusiasm or more chocolates (I only have 4 fillings, thank you very much!)
  • Spending 2 months every summer with my cousins at Grandpa’s home in the paternal village
  • Dad flying past said house in ‘his’ helicopter, hovering above to drop off chocolates and goodies that would float down in little kerchief sized parachutes which we’d run about catching
  • Always screaming “PAPA! PAPA!” EVERY time my brother & I saw a helicopter .. LOL!!
  • Riding in a rickshaw to go see an Indian movie titled “I am a Disco Dancer” and er… disco dancing like him :D
  • Hosting my 1st (and probably last) “Midnight Feast” brought on by too many Enid Blyton books (age 11)
  • Playing dress ups

  • Sleepovers with my best friends, 4 of us piled up on top of each other talking through the night about crushes & first loves
  • My first Jam Session (co-ed dance evening) at the DSOI (Defence Services Officers Club)
  • Waking up the day (or was it midnight?) of my 20th birthday to find a bucket FULL of roses waiting outside my front door from my boyfriend at the time
    • Creating a story out of thin air that had my friend Mandira totally fooled for a WEEK and the 4 of us laughing as we finally told her the truth
    • Christmas eve at my friend Nina’s in the 90’s where I’d put up decorations and be rewarded by her mum’s yummiest, most-amazing-Fudge-in-the-world
    • That one time at my Uncle’s playing Pictionary where he tried to cheat but collapsed with laughter instead and his daughter caught on – so many laughs & giggles that night :)
    • Singing very loudly in cars with my best friends, totally off key and having the best time :)
    • The time Amanda, Sally and I sang “Drops of Jupiter” and waited for the “even when you’re wrong” part so we could yell loudly at each other!
    • Winning a hula hoop competition at Amanda’s Slip n Slide party, the 1st time I ever hula hooped (age 27)
    • Amanda’s Parties!! The BEST parties ever, ever, ever that made my 2 years in the US so fun!

    • Swing dancing with my friend Matt who was the bestest, awesomest swing dancer and effortlessly swung me around
    • Oh also my friend Rob, that time he dipped me on the floor and said I won’t drop you. And he didn’t.
    • So many Hotlanta nights of dancing till 3am, going home exhausted, tired and happy
    • Camping at Tugaloo with my Atlanta friends and late night swims in the lake ;)
    • St Patrick’s day 2002 in Savannah, Georgia. 200 of us took 4 buses out from Atlanta to Savannah and by the time we got there at noon, we were all in a state of Irish inebriation. Good times!
    • My birthday in 2001 when my friends hosted a wonderful party for me and made me wear a crown that slipped & cut my nose
    • Watching Kenny Rogers at Chastain Park, Atlanta with my friend John and crying tears of happiness cos Kenny reminded me of my dad who I missed and was the source of my love of country music
    • Finding out my New Zealand work visa had been granted and I was on my way to Queenstown, NZ

    • Realising that a guy I was crazy about liked me back and was about to ask me out – oh that moment is etched forever
    • Walking up Queenstown Hill with my ex and him singing the silliest song ever that went like “Rin tin tin tin tin HEY!” over and over and over again with accompanying dance movements, till I was laughing so hard I was in tears
    • Getting a red rose every month on the anniversary of our 1st date from the same ex :)
    • In Feb this year, waking up at 6am to go see Arnold Scharznegger light the Olympic flame and getting out of breath from running around from spot to spot and STILL missing him totally
    • Weaving through hundreds of people with my friend Jakob to get pictures of the Olympic Flame
    • The Olympic nights on Granville Street, the euphoria and excitement in the air
    • Watching Canada win Olympic Hockey Gold at the Cambie, woohoo!
    • Getting laid off from my “last job ever” in Vancouver  in 2008 and realising that this was the start of a fantastic new future, smiling and telling the firing manager that as she was fighting off tears
    • Discovering coaching and the exciting world of Entrepreneurship, the moment I knew that I would never again work for the Establishment

    Wow, wow, wow I could go on all day. Going through my memories made me aware of just how great a life I’ve had and continue to have, full of many amazing times, friends, events.

    The next time you feel like the world is out to get you or the sky is going to fall on your head and everything just sucks, try this.

    Start writing down a list of your favourite memories.  I’ll just bet you won’t be able to stop once you get started. Total, INSTANT Vibe Shifter! I’m only stopping so you don’t get tired of reading, ha!

    Ok, over to you now – what are some of your favourite memories?

    Share them here and add to the good vibes spilling all over this post :D

    I can’t WAIT to hear from you!!


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    Lessons from the Blackhawks Stanley Cup Win

    June 9, 2010 by Tia · 7 Comments
    Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Intention, Law of Attraction, Passion, courage 

    Source: Reuters.com: NHL Stanley Cup 2010 Winners - Chicago Blackhawks

    I just finished watching the Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup Finals.

    For those of you who aren’t hockey crazed (or Canadian), the Stanley Cup is the Holy Grail of Hockey, the National Hockey League’s most salivated after prize in the Hockey world. Ever. Not counting the Olympics.

    Ok, WHAT am I doing talking about Hockey on this blog?

    Bear with me just a minute.

    (Apart from the fact that 5 of the team players from the Hawks are British Columbia boys and more than half the team is Canadian) – It’s something I heard Rocky Wirtz, the owner of the team, say.

    When asked whether he knew that the Hawks were going to win or how he knew that, he said something like:

    “If we had set the bar low, we would have met it. So we set the bar high. And we met it.“

    (Creative liberties may have been taken with the wordage.)

    That’s 49 years of a winless drought, leading to a spectacular, hard fought win. Summed up in these 2 sentences.

    It reminded me of a post where fellow coach Jeannette talked about Sean McHugh being laid off by the Detroit Lions & being picked up by the Pittsburgh Steelers.

    He said there was an expectation when you become a Pittsburgh Steeler that you’re going to win. Something he hadn’t felt in his old team.

    Which was evident in how those two teams became the worst and the best in the Football World Cup NFL series in 2009.

    Ever heard the saying “reach for the moon, for if you do you might reach the stars”? You can see where I’m going with this, right?

    You see, you get what you expect.

    When you set an intention to be the best, to go for Gold, to win, you are setting yourself up for success.

    People often rise (or fall) to the expectations we have of them.

    If you’re a parent who tells your child he’ll never be good at math just like his mama or hasn’t a creative bone in her body, guess what’s going to happen?

    On the flip side, if you look for the best in someone, you’re going to find the best in them.

    How many times have you looked at your partner / boss / friend / employee and wished there was something they’d say or do differently? And the more you focused on what you didn’t like about them, the more they seemed to perpetrate that action.

    Till the day you decide to stop noticing what you don’t like and start paying attention to what you Do like. And lo, presto! It’s reflected in their behaviour, almost overnight, af if by magic?

    Now, let’s turn this inwards to YOU.

    What do you expect to have happen in your life? What about on a daily basis?

    I’m not talking about being the best or winning or being hard on yourself with “unrealistic” expectations to be perfect.

    This goes beyond “just winning” (although I’m sure the Blackhawks feel differently about that and I sure was over the moon when Canada won Olympic Hockey Gold in February this year!).

    This is about awareness.

    About setting intentions.

    About believing in yourself.

    In your worth, your ability, your deserving-ness to live the life you want..

    Being daring enough to think big, not letting the yeah, buts & fears stop you.

    If you don’t dream big, what chance do you ever have of making those dreams come true? If you want a no holds barred life and you’re busy focused on the ways in which you’re tied down, how do you expect to fly?

    A good test to see whether you’ve been dreaming powerfully is to look at your life right now.

    • What about it do you love?
    • What do you wish was different?
    • What do you believe you can have?
    • Is there a limit ie, have you got a set point where you stop dreaming?
    • What have you done about it?

    If you want more than you’ve allowed yourself to dream or have, whose permission are you waiting to get? You need no one to tell you you can have it all. No one but you.

    If you’ve allowed other people to tell you what you can or cannot achieve, if you’ve been playing small, squishing your dreams and resigning yourself to never having everything that you want, I want you to stop right now!

    STOP it, stop it, stop it.

    Stop setting the bar so low. What makes an NHL or Olympic winning team so very different from you?

    Natural talent and physical prowess aside, none of these teams would have gotten to where they are if they didn’t DREAM big, intend & visualise their dreams coming true and take Inspired Action to make them happen.

    Action without Intention is a misguided missile.

    Start creating the life of freedom, happiness, abundance, love, travel, connection, joy and clarity that you want and deserve.

    Start by setting the bar high, to what that means for you.

    Not what someone else wants for you, but what YOU want for you. No one’s laughing, no one’s judging.

    Reach for the moon, the stars, the top of the trees, reach for what your heart truly desires!

    You have permission.

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    An Intentional Social Media Experiment

    June 7, 2010 by Tia · 11 Comments
    Filed under: Conscious Creation, Experiments, Inspired Action 

    It’s been rumbling for a while. This whole issue around social media and connecting with people.

    Back when I first started using twitter in Sept 08, it was a case of the blind leading the blind.

    People used auto follow tools, played with the system to get huge follower #’s and assumed that more followers = more popularity = sales.

    Quite possibly one of the dumbest ideas ever.

    In the past year we watched, learned, interacted, promoted, made mistakes, were professional, were unprofessional, followed all the rules and broke all the rules.

    Come 2010 and many of us started questioning:  with all this connectivity, could it be possible that we’re actually killing intimacy? How many of your 1000 – 5000 facebook friends or 500 – 50,000 twitter followers do you know?

    Or even want to know?

    It’s getting out of hand. Do you even know what you’re doing online anymore?

    What’s your intention with social media, ie, do you have a strategy or are you doing the same thing you did last year – mindlessly pretending to “connect” away?

    For the record, connection is NOT:

    • Having 5000 followers on twitter
    • Having 1000 facebook friends
    • Meeting people at networking events

    What is it then? Social media is personal and individual and we all use it differently. But there’s too much confusion facing new entrants to this ‘game’, and even those who’ve been using it for a while are re-evaluating their gameplan.

    About freakin’ time!

    Some facts:

    • This here’s an information overload age
    • If you’re the average social media user, you probably truly interact with 20-50 people in your expanded, belly bulging lists of “friends”, no matter what social media sites you use
    • The rest collect dust and give you the appearance of being popular and a “somebody”
    • An occasional tweet or message does not a relationship build

    When you see a few names in your facebook home feed that make you double back and ask “who the heck is this and why don’t I remember adding them as friends”, you know it’s time to re-evaluate your online life (yes, that just happened to me and no I am NOT okay with that).

    This was me in March:

    And this is me in June:

    It’s time to take our lives back. It’s time to get intentional. While I’m not going on a Social Media Purge (cos I was intentional about who I connected with for the most part), I’m ready for a Social Media Diet.

    And you, if you are as well, here’s what I’m proposing.

    An experiment. To get intentional with your social media habits. What’s the point in letting hordes of people clog up your mindspace for the off chance that you’ll connect with them *someday*?

    They won’t be your clients *someday* they won’t be your partners *someday*, you will not have built up equity *someday* , and you will not have a friendship *someday*, if you don’t start connecting with them NOW.

    Three Steps to Intentional Social Media:

    1) Pick 5 people a week
    2) Invite them to connect with you
    3) Connect!

    That’s it. That’s all you need to get started turning some of those meaningless contacts into a living, breathing, relationship.

    While 15 minutes will not make you bosom buddies, it’s a start. You’re fooling yourself if you think you’ve got any semblance of a real relationship right now unless you’ve actually spent time tweeting / emailing / chatting with someone.

    Just reading someone’s tweets doesn’t mean you’re ‘connecting’.

    Social media is a tool, one that you can use to meet people you’d never meet otherwise. It is NOT and never will be a substitute for an in person or phone connection.

    So how do you take action and start getting intentional?

    Here’s an idea – invite someone out for coffee. Set up an account on tungle.com and block off 15 min a day to speak with someone. Send the link out to your “friends” and ask them to make time for you.

    If you can’t make that effort or don’t have the time or inclination then at least be honest with yourself about the huge amount of time you’re wasting, the people you’re allowing into your life you don’t care about, and the false sense of achievement these numbers bring.

    Because when the you-know-what hits the fan, you’re going to do it anyways. Don’t wait for that to happen – get smart and get intentional today.

    Start with https://www.tungle.me/tiasingh – leave me your number, block a time & lets get chatting. I’m looking forward to it!

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    Ps:  I would LOVE to hear from you how you’re  navigating and balancing this online virtual world with your ‘real’ life and what YOUR social media strategy is. Thanks in advance for sharing!

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