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Lacking Ambition & Drive – How To Light That Fire?
Earlier this month I asked some of you to tell me what you struggled with.
One of the responses was unexpected and real ~
“I find it difficult to get enthused about stuff, I’m more lukewarm and accepting of all possibilities so not much pulls me completely. Drive and ambition are not a part of my vocabulary. Still, I’m a vibrant, spiritual person with joy for life. Go figure!”
She wanted to know what was up with that. What instantly popped into my mind was “hey, there’s nothing wrong with a lack of drive and ambition”!
Interestingly (or not 
), I’ve always thought of myself as lacking ambition as well. Many who know me will protest, but I have never been ambitious.
At least, not in the sense most people think.
You see, I never wanted to be the CEO of a company, or make a 6 figure salary, or travel first class for work, or buy a fancy home and live a jet setting lifestyle (changed my mind on the 000,000’s just this year).
To me, that’s what ambitious people wanted. Me, I was content to take it one day at a time, follow my sense of fun and adventure and not worry about climbing the corporate ladder.
Heck, every time I was up the ladder, I jumped ship and set sail to a new country.
In retrospect, I just didn’t agree with other people’s definition of ambitious and driven! From someone who job-hopped every 9 months and could never see herself as being self employed to running her own business as an entrepreneur and coach, I’ve come a long way baby.
Not ambitious? LOL!
Looking at the past 12 years of my life, I see that I WAS driven. To have fun. To travel. To learn. To grow. To follow my own path. To morph my life experiences into who I am today.
My ambition, (even though I didn’t know it then), was to see the world, create memories and nurture close connected friendships all over the world. In the process, I grew up, opened my world of possibilities and became a sponge.
Too often we relate being ambitious and driven with what we think it’s supposed to be.
When we think of an ambitious person, we often think of someone with a lot of energy, many passions, opinionated, strong willed, maybe a little ruthless (!), possibly works 80 hours a week, lives the fast life, is vibrant and alive!
True for some, very untrue for others.
Here’s the deal – Aliveness can show up in many different ways. As a society we’ve been led to believe he who creates the most ripples is the most driven.
However, some of the most inspiring people in the world have a purpose and passion in life that’s so strong, you can sense it in every pore of their being (a certain late nun in India comes to mind). Is that not driven?
To my friend I would say:
- redefine what these words mean to you
- find out what you really, truly want
- notice where you put your attention, and how it makes you feel
- pull apart “drive & ambition” and “vibrant & spiritual” – are they being collapsed together somehow?
I’ve taken one approach to answering this question but I know there are lots more like setting routines, willpower, changing habits, energetic vibe, physical health, etc.
And now I’m musing .. Do we really have to be ambitious to be successful? Can you be hardworking without being ambitious at the same time? Does lacking ambition and drive make one lazy and unsuccessful? Does it mean you’ll always be a drifter? Can it be a good thing?
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Your turn. What would you add if this was your friend, son, daughter, employee – how would you respond? What do YOU really think about ambition and drive and how does that show up in your life? I’m looking forward to learning from you, thanks for playin!
“Doing What Feels Good”- A Cop Out?
I’m the first to admit I hardly ever do anything that doesn’t feel good.
In the past 10 years I’ve made some VERY inspired decisions based on how adventurous and new the experience was, rather than how much money I could make or how far up the corporate ladder I could advance.
I chose today over tomorrow. Not the most conventional way to live, I was subconsciously picking the most FUN path to follow over the one that would bring me the most “conventional success”.
Today, I’m more conscious of my actions as I check to see how I’m feeling before taking action, hardly ever doing anything unless it feels good to do.
Paradoxically, there are those times when I didn’t feel good about doing something and did it anyway.
You think I’m going to say I regret those times, right?
No.
Because some of those time that I did what didn’t feel good, turned out to bring results that made me feel SO glad I did.
And some of the times I did what ‘felt good’ turned out to be nothing more than procrastination and putting off the inevitable, wasting time and energy in the process. Eg: endlessly watching Scrubs re-runs online instead of working on my business plan for 2010, which would serve me in the long run.
Which brings me to state: There are times it’s actually a good thing to do what you’re not enthused about! Times when “doing what feels good” is a complete cop out that does more harm than good.
What if you decided you really wanted something, and you’d have to be disciplined about doing what it takes to get it but you hate being disciplined?
- What if you cancelled on a concert at the last minute because you didn’t feel like getting dressed up, and then later regretted it when you heard how awesome it was?
- Or you have bills to pay and you hate doing that. But if you didn’t your utilities would be cut off, so whether you feel good about doing it or not, you just have to do it.
- Or you’re looking for a new job and have to work on your resume but you hate doing that. Would you find a creative way around it (like hiring a resume writer) or would you make yourself do it?
And what about the times you DID do something you didn’t want to and were GLAD that you went against that initial feeling?
- Like when you didn’t want to go take that new course in school and it turned out to be your best decision ever?
- Or you forced yourself to go out to that party and met your soulmate?
- How about the time you were nice to someone you didn’t like and they ended up becoming your best friend?
I think it comes down to knowing the answer to:
When do you know you’re actually following your feel good or mistaking your comfort zone for it?
What if swallowing that frog was the one thing stopping you from getting what you want?
What if, to get what you want, you first have to do something you DON’T want to do?
There are times I’ve made myself do something I didn’t feel like doing (like go to the gym and lift weights) because it was what I thought I needed to do to get to my ultimate goal of getting toned the fastest way I could.
So by compromising my feel good in the moment, I’m honouring my bigger goal and that makes me happy when I’ve done it, even if I had to force myself to take action at first. Paradoxically, by taking action I don’t even have to wait until I’ve finished that action to feel good – the vibe changes just by doing it!
Do you change your mind cos it doesn’t feel good right now or do you keep your commitment inspite of that because you know you’ll feel better for it? How do you decide what course of action to follow?
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I’m just really curious to know how you balance doing what you aren’t aligned with in the moment, with the bigger picture that you ARE aligned with. How do you handle these tricky situations? I’d looking forward to your insights and thoughts! Thanks so much for sharing, as always.
Manifesting and The Power of Two
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Inspired Action, Law of Attraction
Before I went to sleep last night, I was thinking about how we start programs and projects that we’re so excited about at first and then lose steam midway.
And I wondered … what would be a fun way to keep the momentum going, stay inspired and be supported through it?
It struck me how some good twitter friends and I have been keeping each other motivated through our 29giftsin29days project by sending each other daily reminder and update tweets with the hashtag #29gifts .
We’ve been so inspired by each other’s progress that it keeps us still interested and many of us will be completing 29 days soon – the longest I’ve ever stuck to a great idea of this sort without letting life take over, if you know what I mean (and I know you do).
Then this morning I was reading #MaMo on twitter (a manifesting circle where you talk about what you want to manifest and others send you manifesting energy and good vibes to add more power to it).
Putting all these thoughts together, I had a new thought: “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a manifesting buddy!?”
Someone you could call once a week and talk about what you’re creating as if it’s already happened? Someone who wouldn’t look at you as if you were crazy and actually GET what you’re doing?
Somewhat like an accountability partner but even BETTER cos being accountable can start being a drag too and this is all about fun and play 
Here’s the idea:
1) Think of something you’ve been wanting to manifest and finding hard to visualise, journal or get a regular ritual going. It could be anything from a goal to an intention to a new habit you’d like to create.
2) Write down what it is you want to bring into your life with joy and excitement, and post it in the comments.
3) Then go through the list and match up with someone you feel drawn to, with similar or different goals.
4) Commit to it for the next 4 weeks. After that, you choose whether to keep going or not.
5) I’d suggest picking a time to connect and sticking to it for the next 4 weeks so you don’t forget about it or let life get in the way. Whether it’s by phone, skype, email, you decide what works for you and play full out.
6) Benefits? You get to focus on what you want to create, give it love and attention, have the power of TWO peoples energy on it, make an awesome new friend, create good vibes and have fun!
Who’s in!?
ps: If you’re a bit shy about getting a manifesting buddy, say YES anyway or just write below for the rest of us to send manifesting energy to your goal – co-creation is powerful!
pps: If you’ve found yourself a buddy, please come back and let us know so peeps can pair up with someone who’s still looking. Thanks!
What Massage School & Driving Taught Me About The Power of Intention
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Intention, Law of Attraction, Visualisation
I can still hear her loud bellowing voice in my ears “BE SPECCCCCCIFIC!!”
Every now and then, came another reminder “OUTtention follows INNNNNTENTION!!” Sometimes, I still hear these words in my dreams. She did a good job drilling them into me.
The year was 2003 and I was training to be a Massage Therapist. The bellower was my teacher, instructor and first introduction to the Universe, energy and LOA (although I didn’t know it at the time).
There are 3 things that make a good massage therapist a GREAT one. Training is one of them. Natural intuitive abilities are another. And setting an intention before working is the third.
Think about the last massage you had. A good therapist will work each specific muscle and target certain points along your body. A general rub down just doesn’t have the same effect.
Before even touching the body, I was trained to imagine the lines I would follow, muscles, skin, bones, nervous system, and how with each touch I was affecting not just that muscle, but other related areas. What I was doing mentally was AS important as the physical work and the results showed it.
Going back in time, when I was 16, my dad tried to teach me to drive.
He said the best way for me to learn was to close my eyes, imagine my foot on the accelerator, the clutch and practice releasing slowly (yes, the days of the manual gear shift!). He had me practice this a lot and the days I did, I found myself driving smoother than the days I didn’t.
The agreement came to an end when he told me to look into the hood of the car and learn how it all functioned.
While I don’t believe it’s necessary to learn HOW something works to be able to use it, I’m on board with his teaching technique.
Setting an Intention gives immense clarity to any action. It’s one of the the first things we do to get clear about what we want when we’re manifesting our goodies.
There are many ways you can set an intention. You can state it, you can visualise it, you can feel it in your body, write about it, sing it, get creative about it. What’s important is to pick a method that works for you.
You’ve seen this at work in The Biggest Loser when Helen Phillips lost 140 lbs to win the title. In the middle of the season she said “I’m going to win this thing” and everything changed from that moment on.
Ok, here’s a question for you: What do Olympians like Carl Lewis and Greg Louganis to superstars like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods, inventors and scientists Alexander Bell, Newton, Edison and Einstein, actors Jim Carrey and Matt Damon, speakers Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield and visionaries like Martin Luther King have in common?
Yep, that’s right! They ALL use(d) the power of intention and visualisation to achieve great success in their fields.
When Tiger makes a key shot, he’s already practiced it and visualized it more times than we’d like to think about. As he’s still human, here’s a really cool NLP technique video I found online about his performance on the 11th hole and how he could do better (as a bonus, the guy talking has a really cool kiwi accent!)
And finally, you know how I’ve set myself a schedule to make some little-big life changes in 21 days? If not, read about there here. Well, the one thing I’ve been doing is setting intentions about how I want my day to go.
Yesterday I set an intention that I wanted “something fun and exciting to happen today” and took a couple of minutes to imagine what that feels like, working myself into a state of fun, happy excitement.
20 minutes later there was a draw for a contest I had entered just the day before and … I WON!! A $700 train ride for two to Whistler – I was SO excited I was bouncing out of my chair and giggling like a frenzied toddler.
Ha! How’s THAT for intention setting!?
Here’s the kicker – If it works so well, and there’s so much proof around us in every area of life, from sports to acting to losing weight to driving a car, then WHY aren’t YOU using this simple technique more often?
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Got any stories about setting intentions and the results thereof? What works best for you? I KNOW you’ve got some manifesting successes that followed setting a clear intention – a job interview, money windfall, meeting a great girl/guy etc. Please share, I’d love to hear. Thanks!
The Epiphany – Or Why I Don`t Have What I Want
Filed under: Conscious Creation, Intention, Law of Attraction, Life
It`s simple. VERY simple.
What would you do if you woke up one day and realised that what you wanted all this while, isn’t what you really want after all?
Having spent time, money, energy, thought and effort towards realising your goals, what if you realised you’d got it all wrong?
It started with an idea “Change One Thing Today – Do something differently” well before I turned it into my first Tuesday Tip.
I did something differently. I decided to eat a healthy breakfast and lunch, ON TIME. I cleaned. I created space for paperwork I’d been ignoring.
Subconsciously clearing space in my head for something to shift.
And suddenly it came to me. The reason I hadn’t manifested some BIG things that I’d been wanting for a while. Holy epiphany baby!!
All this while my dream has been to live in a beautiful 5 BR home, with a sun room, wraparound porch, orchard in the back, mountain and lake views (I’ve got it down in exact detail – focus is GOOD), work from home, have a wonderful group of amazing, supportive friends who I see every week, get married to an amazing man and raise 3 wonderful kids, vacation 2X a year..
And all this while I’ve been manifesting amazing things …. on a way smaller scale.
A partner who wasn’t quite what I wanted, an apartment that was adorable but not quite the 5 BR home, good friends but with not quite the level of connection I envisioned, money flowing to me easily but not as much as was possible, vacations that weren’t AS fun as I’d been dreaming up …
Then it hit me.
I’d been trying to get aligned with the big stuff, thinking that’s what would attract that dream life to me. But I didn’t realise till recently that while I do want those things, I’m not ready.
I just THOUGHT I was!
The truth is, no, not right this minute.
I still want all that but not right now. So when I tried to manifest these biggies, it kinda skewed up the results as I was asking for one thing and vibing another. I hadn’t thought about the flip side of getting what I wanted – the subconscious opposition to my grand desires were the spokes in the wheel.
No WONDER it’s not happened yet, duh. I told you it was simple…
Silly Bridget, Silly Me.
Aligning with what it would feel like to have that house, husband, kids wasn’t making me feel good, it was making me anxious - Fish sticks!
I forgot the most BASIC tenet of manifesting ie, It Has To Feel Good. Good, Good, Good.
Since these were my ‘big’ dreams, once I wrote them down, I assumed that’s what I wanted and didn’t even think to question them. Maybe in a year, but right now I can’t see myself living in that house cos it would mean being in the ‘burbs, driving, a mortgage .. when what I REALLY want is to be a centrally located city girl for a wee while longer.
Ooops. Ooops. Oopsies!
Basic Tip # 1 If thinking about what you want stresses you out rather than making you happy, it might not be what you really want.
Wow. Ok. So what does this mean? When you visualise, afform, affirm, use manifesting techniques to get what you want by trying to feel now how great it would feel then, it WON’T work well if you`re not ready, able n willing.
We can only manifest what we are READY for, what we’re in alignment with in this moment. Tweaking goals is one way to get closer to surreality (the feeling of YES, this is IT!).
Let`s look at this a bit more closely:
-I’m not ready to be a house owner living in the ‘burbs, but
-I AM READY for the lovely 2 BR D/T apartment with great views and a pool
- I’m not ready to be married or meet my husband right now, but
- I AM READY to be in a great relationship with an amazing man who I adore
- I’m not ready to be a gym bunny health nut eating super healthy food, but
- I AM READY to work out 3 times a week, cook healthy meals twice a week
See what I mean? Don’t shut the door on your dreams but be SUPER clear about what you are ready to manifest right now - the rest can come in good time. So it’s not about asking for the big dream and getting into alignment with it (yes I know I just said that our work is to be in alignment but sometimes re-doing the goal IS what gets us into alignment).
Stay with me, it’s quite the A-HA moment here!
Basic Tip # 2 When your dreams feel exciting and scary or TOO big, know that it’s probably not happening NOT cos it’s too big. Nor is it always a self limiting belief keeping you from getting it. What it is, is that they may not feel like YOU right now, or you need to do take smaller steps, getting comfortable at each level as you get closer to the penthouse.
Funny thing is, as I redefine what I want in a way that feels more like ME and what I want now (as opposed to tomorrow), a little magic happens and I find myself automatically becoming ready for more – without the pressure and expiry date we sometimes attach to our wants.
And as those happen, I get more and more aligned with my bigger desires.
Paradoxical, yet true. It’s like living in 2 Universes where I’m ready for the next step AND ready for the bigger one but not if I’m not ready for the next step before the one after.
All this while I thought it was about me not getting what I want cos I didn’t believe I deserved it. And in some cases it might have been true but mostly I realise its cos my alignment radar was off and I was trying to align myself with what I wanted but wasn’t yet ready to have.
Geez, I’ll stop before I confuse us all by overexplaining in my excitement! I know some of you will you get what I’m saying and will help explain it better so thanks in advance for that.
Basic Tip #3 If you’ve been manifesting for a while and don’t have what you asked for, try:
- Changing or reframing your desires
- Checking in with your goal: is it a self limiting belief or is it something you’re just not ready for?
- Asking what would happen if you got the big dream. How would your life change? Are you ready for that? What do you need to do to be ready for that change?
- Looking at other areas of your life, they could be telling you something
(For eg, if I can’t commit to a yearly gym membership inspite of having been a member for 6 months already, if I can’t sign an apartment lease and prefer to go month by month, it could be telling me I’m not committed to living here. Or there could be a lesson to learn as in “signing a lease does not mean I’m stuck forever, I can always get out of it”.
Er … in this case it would mean I equate owning a home or having a lease to mean loss of freedom. So you can see the work I have to do to change this relationship with homes and leases! Yikes!)
Once you’ve looked into these aspects, I have a feeling you’ll see things start happening much faster.
As my friend Cheri said the other day: ”If you think of your life ‘too far’ down the road its hard to align with what you think it ’should be’. Trusting that you are in the right place and things will flow in the right time makes a big difference!”
Couldn’t have summed it up better than that. Thanks Cheri!
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Would love to hear from you – when you’re manifesting the BIG things, would you do anything differently than if it was something small? How do you know you are ready and what do you do if you’re NOT ready for what you want ? Thanks for sharing!
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